improvemnts in health, education and trade are essessential for the development of poorer nations. however, the goverments of richer nations should take responsibilities for helping the poorer nations in such areas. to what extend do you agree?

#improvemnts #health #education #trade #development #nations #goverments #responsibilities #areas

Nowadays, the world is connected together. Every country has relationships with other

countries

. Developing

countries

need the developed ones to become more successful in many aspects. I totally agree that the

countries

that have succeeded and gained a lot of experience should share them with other

countries

. In fact, developing

countries

should follow the steps that have been taken by developed

countries

For example

, the health systems in developing

countries

lack many facilities.

Also

, there is a shortage of health services that need to be improved. Developing

countries

should learn to improve their health programs

as well as

be less dependent on other national systems. In my opinion , developed

countries

must draw a map for developing

countries

to help them improve.

For instance

, they should send experts to work in developing

countries

to show their people how to participate well in the development of their country.

Moreover

, they should provide courses and educational programs that will aid in increasing their awareness and intelligence level. Improving the field of education will be reflected in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developing

countries

in different ways.

Thus

, it is wise for developed

countries

to open multiple seats in their universities for international students. These students after finishing their education will return to their

countries

and will play a major role in improving them.

Furthermore

, giving loans to poorer

nations

is a useful solution to raise their economic value.

This

will allow these

countries

to start trading and raise their economy by themselves. Sharing bits of knowledge, experiences and information fastens the development of poor

countries

. Communication with various modern

nations

is the important key to success.

In other words

nations

have to look after each other and should do what is beneficial. In conclusion, helping other

nations

to grow and become better is mandatory. It participates in the survival of mankind.

Submitted by a7meed5ybari on Sun Sep 17 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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improvemnts in health, education and trade are essessential for the development of poorer nations. however, the goverments of richer nations should take responsibilities for helping the poorer nations in such areas. to what extend do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Since the 18 th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of ageing populations.