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Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #people #interest #culture #country #region #life
Today some argue that modern society has nothing to gain in preserving local or national
traditions
. Others think that maintaining a traditional way of life is still essential for
people
 in general,not
exept
Correct your spelling
except
 me. There are many reasons why respecting
traditions
 is crucial for most
people
. First and foremost, it plays a crucial role in bringing nations together despite their differences, and it boosts their sense of patriotism.
For example
, during times of war in my country,
people
 had a strong conviction to hold onto their
beliefs
 and ideas about life, and many of them voluntarily worked to maintain cities and provinces.
Additionally
, following customs can provide a sense of comfort and convenience
due to
 their insights.
For instance
, in many countries, women choose to wear a headscarf to cover their hair based on their
beliefs
, and it brings them a feeling of inner peace.
Although
 it may have been important to preserve traditional attitudes, some
people
 are simply not interested in doing so. One reason is the influence of social media, which has made it trendy for the younger generation to adopt new moods and fashions.
For instance
, fashion bloggers on Instagram have become a tangible example of
this
 trend.
According to
 fashion stylists, most girls these days are more interested in staying up-to-date rather than adhering to old ways of thinking.
Additionally
, migration can
also
 play a role in the decline of a home country's traditional
beliefs
. Many migrants are often willing to adapt to their new environment in order to become successful in their new home, which means that inherited
traditions
 and
beliefs
 may be overlooked. Positive
traditions
 and cultural changes are both important for a country's development and to foster
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 understanding of ourselves and the world.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task response
Your essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, there is room for improvement in providing more balanced arguments for each view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure and flow of ideas, but there are some minor issues with coherence and cohesion. Try to use more transition words to connect ideas and provide a clearer progression of thoughts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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