IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

many people think that technology creates significant impact in the modern word? Do you agree with this statement?

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There has been an argument about whether technology has had a huge impact on humans' contemporary
lives
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 or not. I believe everybody would agree that we are living in a technologically advanced world where every nation is spending a lot on cutting-edge innovations and
therefore
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, it is safe to say that these advances have now become an important part of our
lives
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.
Moreover
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, with the advent of
computers
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, it did not take computer scientists a long time to create the
Internet
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 which almost everybody has access to nowadays.
Furthermore
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, we were introduced to artificial intelligence which has revolutionized our
lives
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.
Firstly
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, the
internet
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 has been remembered as one of the greatest inventions of our time alongside electricity and automobiles. It was not long after the first commercial personal
computers
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 were introduced that connecting multiple
computers
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 in the shape of a network went under extensive research in the greatest labs across the world. Soon after the network changed every aspect of our
lives
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 whether it was banking transactions, transportation, research or entertainment.
For instance
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, my grandmother has joint pain and she cannot do her grocery shopping herself but today, she just uses an app called Snapp to buy whatever she wants and has them delivered to her doors.
Thus
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, the
internet
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 is a great example of how our
lives
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 now depend on state-of-the-art technology.
Secondly
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, one of the most exciting advances of recent times is artificial intelligence. It was no one but the first computer scientist, Allan Turing, who started the idea of intelligent
computers
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. Since
then
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,
although
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 a lot of sci-fi movies suggested that we are going to be wiped out by the hands of the mighty robots, they have been helping humanity a lot. It has been incorporated into almost every computer-based service we use whether it is online or even offline,
such
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 as our best search engines and the recommender systems in our most favourite e-commerce websites.
For example
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, thanks to the navigation applications that we have available on our phones, we cannot get lost in the megapolises we live in.
Hence
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, our massive use of machine learning algorithms leaves us with no doubt that artificial intelligence has changed the entirety of our
lives
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.
To conclude
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, it is not an easy task to write about the importance of recent technologies because there are so many of them. But, as I mentioned earlier, the
internet
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 and following that machine learning are now at the core end of every task we do on a daily basis and so, these technologies are great examples to implicate the role of innovations in our
lives
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.

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Language Use
Ensure a wide vocabulary range is consistently used throughout your essay to elevate the sophistication of your language.
Task Response
Consider delving even deeper into the societal impact technological advances have had, incorporating more diverse examples and maybe contrasting viewpoints to further enrich your argumentation.
Coherence & Cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, it's beneficial to implement a variety of linking words and phrases that seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the overall flow of your essay.
Structure
You presented a well-structured argument, effectively introduced, developed, and concluded, demonstrating a strong understanding of the essay structure.
Use of Examples
Your use of specific examples, such as the story about your grandmother and the navigation applications, vividly illustrates your points, making your argument compelling and relatable.
Content Depth
The breadth of technologies discussed, including the internet and artificial intelligence, highlighted the significant impact of technology, successfully addressing the essay prompt.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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