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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
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The question of whether advanced
communication
 platforms are detrimental to social
relationships
 is a topic that has sparked a profound debate.
While
 there are certain benefits to
this
 trend, I am inclined to agree with the notion that it has numerous drawbacks to social
relationships
. On the one hand, the booming of the Internet and the availability of advanced digital devices are undoubtedly believed to revolutionize the way in which
people
 communicate with others. Platforms, like Facebook, Google Meeting and Zoom Meeting, have broken down geographical barriers, enabling individuals to stay in touch with their friends and families across the globe.
Additionally
, online communities allow
people
 to connect with others who share common interests, fostering new friendships and creating more spaces for meaningful discussions.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that new
communication
 platforms can bring several detrimental implications.
Firstly
,
people
 who heavily rely on online
communication
 tend to lack face-to-face interactions with others.
This
 is because they spend more time on their smartphones or tablets and focus more on social media rather than interacting with their friends or families.
In other words
, they are being isolated by themselves.
Secondly
, modern
communication
 channels are believed to cause an obstacle for individuals to build trustful
relationships
. The main reason is that there are numerous scammers are approach other
people
 for nefarious purposes. To illustrate, a great number of Facebook users reported that they were the victims of cybercrimes who tried to make friends with them and stole their personal information for financial fraud. In conclusion,
although
 modern
communication
 technology can enhance individuals' social
relationships
 in terms of global connectivity and convenient interactions, I firmly assert that
this
 trend
also
 brings certain drawbacks
due to
 a lack of face-to-face interactions and difficulties in establishing trustful
relationships
.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need more development to fully address the task. The main points are well supported with relevant examples and explanations.
task response
The response is mostly complete and addresses the prompt effectively. The ideas are clear and comprehensive with relevant specific examples to support the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
What to do next:
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