IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Countries should produce the food that their population eats, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons, examples to your answer.

Alimentary production is a huge file around the world. Every country grows different types of food which is consumed in their own population.
However
Linking Words
, there are some products that can't be made on their grounds;
therefore
Linking Words
, some need to be imported. In my opinion, it's very beneficial to consume the meal produced in their areas and avoid the necessity of buying it from other countries. I think
this
Linking Words
 way for several reasons that I will explain in the following paragraphs. First of all, when societies get their groceries from their own area, it is going to be cheaper because companies are charging just for the production and for a few miles of transportation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the population get their stuff that has been imported, it is going to be way expensive.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, we produce a lot of coffee. 1 lb of " Juan Valdez" coffee cost $5 over there. Yet, if I buy it in the USA, the same pound costs $50.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if all the communities buy their snacks from the farmers around them, they are helping to support them economically. If all of their growths are sold fast, they will make more money and
meats
Fix the agreement mistake
meat
show examples
 is not going to be wasted.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if we get more products from other countries, our labourers are going to be worried about their production, and they are not going to be able to sell them and get the money that they deserve.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2012 Colombia signed a deal with the USA about importing milk. Colombia is a country with many dairy farms, so, we didn't need that deal. Many growers had to throw away tons of milk because nobody was buying it, and it was getting bad.
To conclude
Linking Words
, societies should consume the majority of food from their countries because
this
Linking Words
 helps them
by getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 groceries at a better price and better quality.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 improves the economy of their area by helping their farmers to sell everything they have grown.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is supported with appropriate evidence and examples. Use linking words to connect the ideas and establish coherence within the essay.
Task Achievement
While the introduction and conclusion are present, aim to provide a stronger and more direct thesis statement that clearly outlines the response to the question. Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task, including presenting and supporting a clear opinion with relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: