Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is considered by some that the
Internet
creates many
problems
whereas
others believe that it has a lot of advantages. In my opinion, there are many
problems
caused by the
Internet
while
it brings many benefits for
people
. One reason that the
Internet
creates many issues is that it distances
people
from each other. Compared to a decade ago,
people
now are more willing to communicate on their phones than in person, even when they are in a shared room.
Besides
that, as
people
become more and more
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
on the
Internet
,
people
are facing an increasing risk of psychological
problems
.
For example
, several young
people
suffer from social phobia.
That is
to say, they feel panic when socializing with others.
Therefore
,
Internet
addiction has become a major problem faced by young
people
today.
However
, the
Internet
provides
people
many
Change preposition
with many
show examples
benefits at the same time.
Firstly
, the
Internet
has broken down geographic barriers and made communication global. It enables
people
to share their views and opinions with
people
from all over the world. It
also
helps deepen understanding and promote peaceful development.
Secondly
, the
Internet
offers the opportunity for online learning and education and it makes education more flexible and accessible. One clear example is that students can choose learning content on the
Internet
based on their interests and needs.
This
makes getting an education much simpler. In conclusion, the
Internet
has brought many benefits to mankind
as well as
problems
. Among them, it has distanced
people
from each other and may cause psychological
problems
. But it has
also
made communication easier and increased educational opportunities.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task Achievement
Provide a more balanced viewpoint throughout your essay to enhance task response. Consider discussing the advantages and disadvantages more equally to fully address the prompt.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to further support your main points. Elaboration can make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to ensure that your conclusion summarizes all the main points discussed in the essay to reinforce your stance and the essay’s coherence.
Introduction
Articulates a clear introductory paragraph outlining the essay's viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effectively uses paragraphing to organize ideas.
Supporting Examples
Includes specific examples to support claims, enhancing the essay’s overall persuasive impact.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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