Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is considered by some that the
Internet
creates many problems
whereas
others believe that it has a lot of advantages. In my opinion, there are many problems
caused by the Internet
while
it brings many benefits for people
.
One reason that the Internet
creates many issues is that it distances people
from each other. Compared to a decade ago, people
now are more willing to communicate on their phones than in person, even when they are in a shared room. Besides
that, as people
become more and more depend
on the Replace the word
dependent
Internet
, people
are facing an increasing risk of psychological problems
. For example
, several young people
suffer from social phobia. That is
to say, they feel panic when socializing with others. Therefore
, Internet
addiction has become a major problem faced by young people
today.
However
, the Internet
provides people
many
benefits at the same time. Change preposition
with many
Firstly
, the Internet
has broken down geographic barriers and made communication global. It enables people
to share their views and opinions with people
from all over the world. It also
helps deepen understanding and promote peaceful development. Secondly
, the Internet
offers the opportunity for online learning and education and it makes education more flexible and accessible. One clear example is that students can choose learning content on the Internet
based on their interests and needs. This
makes getting an education much simpler.
In conclusion, the Internet
has brought many benefits to mankind as well as
problems
. Among them, it has distanced people
from each other and may cause psychological problems
. But it has also
made communication easier and increased educational opportunities.Submitted by s_syedy on
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Task Achievement
Provide a more balanced viewpoint throughout your essay to enhance task response. Consider discussing the advantages and disadvantages more equally to fully address the prompt.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to further support your main points. Elaboration can make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to ensure that your conclusion summarizes all the main points discussed in the essay to reinforce your stance and the essay’s coherence.
Introduction
Articulates a clear introductory paragraph outlining the essay's viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effectively uses paragraphing to organize ideas.
Supporting Examples
Includes specific examples to support claims, enhancing the essay’s overall persuasive impact.