Climate change is the biggest threat to life on our planet. How accurate is this statement? Is there any other big threat to mankind?
It is said that
climate
change is now the most concerning danger to the earth's inhabitants. This
essay wholeheartedly believes that it is very precise to say that because
an unstable Correct word choice
apply
climate
affects our environment negatively. Another threat to our planet is nothing else but pollution
.
To begin
with, it is true to say that climate
change is one of the biggest problems that species are having to deal with because of the devastating impacts it puts on the natural environment. That is
to say that global warming has caused harsh weather conditions, such
as the ice melting phenomenon in Antarctica or more frequent natural disasters, which make it very difficult for many animals to adapt. As a result
, these animals that are not able to evolve will soon decline in number and meet extinction. For example
, the blue parrot species has recently disappeared from nature since the earth's condition is no longer suitable for them to grow and fertilize.
Furthermore
, human beings are also
facing the threat of pollution
caused by our own activities as it is seriously detrimental to individuals' physical well-being. Contaminations from industries and vehicles are responsible for air and water pollution
, leading to a variety of health conditions such
as respiratory diseases or lung and blood cancer, and resulting in an increased number of people who die at a very young age. For instance
, research from the WHO reveals that more and more people are dying before they reach their 50s because of pollution
-related diseases.
In conclusion, climate
change should be seen as the most dangerous risk to mankind because of its devastating effect on everything inhabits
on earth and Wrong verb form
inhabited
pollution
is not a less serious issue since it's the main reason for several health problems in today's generation.Submitted by maymocsb on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains only one main idea, developed with clear examples. For instance, rather than mentioning pollution in the same breath as climate change in the conclusion, you might reserve that space to delve deeper into the latter's implications.
Coherence and Cohesion
Keep an eye on the use of certain phrases such as 'very precise to say' and 'should be seen as.' They can sometimes sound slightly informal. Consider phrases like 'accurate to assert' and 'represents the most significant risk,' respectively.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and viewpoint clearly. It succinctly introduces the importance of climate change and pollution as a secondary threat.
Supported Main Points
The essay consistently provides relevant examples that effectively support the main points, such as the ice melting in Antarctica and the disappearance of the blue parrot species.