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Band 4.5

Some people feel that they should not have to pay any tax and should be able to keep all of the money that they earn. To what extent do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #tax #money
Paying
taxes
 is a duty that carries
benefits
 for individuals and society as a whole. Some people feel that they should not have to pay any tax and should be able to keep all of the money that they earn. I completely disagree with
this
 view for
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. First of all, paying
taxes
 ensure that the government have the necessary fund to provide public services.
This
 means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these
are including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
 education, health care and
publish
Replace the word
public
show examples
 safety.
For example
,
my
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
experience
Replace the word
experienced
show examples
 living in a dormitory with
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
low cost
Add a hyphen
low-cost
show examples
 and well- fund college when I was a student.
Furthermore
, paying
taxes
 contributes to the maintenance of safe and reliable records. In fact, Tax agencies and governments rely on financial data and ensure equitable taxation.
For example
, my personal experiences
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown me that timely and accurate tax records simplify financial planning and reduce the risk of legal complications.
Moreover
, paying
taxes
 fosters a sense of civic responsibility and participation in the democratic process.
Finally
, another benefit of paying
taxes
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to government
benefits
 and social safety nets.
This
 is because Social Security, Medicare and unemployment
benefits
 support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals and families in time of need.
For example
, my mum received Social Security
benefits
 during her retirement, ensuring her financial security. In conclusion, paying
taxes
bringing
Wrong verb form
brings
show examples
 more
benefits
 to individuals even though many people think that they should keep all
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 that they earn, that money is useful to the stability of any country. It ensures the provision of essential public services and
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 access to government
benefits
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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