The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The data presented
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
the two pie charts depicts the
energy
consumption and
greenhouse
gas
emissions
in an average family in Australia. In general, it is apparent that most of the
energy
is utilized for heating and
water
heating,
while
water
heating and other appliances contribute the most to
greenhouse
gas
emissions
for an average household. To commence, heating demands the most
energy
in a household, accounting for 42% of the total consumption. It is followed by
water
heating at 30%, which is double the amount of
energy
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
for other appliances. The amount of
energy
utilized for refrigeration, lighting and cooling each makes up a small minority of the total, at 7%, 4% and 2%, respectively. Turning to the data on
greenhouse
gas
emissions
, the major source of emission comes from
water
heating, which comprises approximately one-third of the total.
Although
other appliances only occupy 15% of total
energy
use, they produce the second-most amount of
greenhouse
gases (28%).
Although
heating is the most demanding for
energy
use, it only contributes to 15% of total
emissions
, which is roughly the same as that of refrigeration. The remaining 11% of the
greenhouse
gases are emitted from lighting and cooling.
Submitted by yoyoghurtxd on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, emissions, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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