You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days, we are living in
advanced
Correct article usage
an advanced
show examples
technology era.The majority of
people
spend most daily hours in front of
television
Add an article
the television
a television
show examples
screen and
this
would be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lead
Replace the word
leads
show examples
to unhealthy habits
such
as becoming lazy
people
.
Moreover
,individuals
also
be
un connected
Add a hyphen
un-connected
show examples
with their families. In
this
essay , I Will discuss
this
argument, and provide my point of view.  First of all, I totally agree that
television
device is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an important part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
our daily routine but
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there are a number of drawbacks. It is undeniable that most
people
use
television
for entertainment purposes or to receive daily news.
For instance
, Individuals spend more time in front of t.v screen watching their favorite movies , series , or even playing games.
Therefore
,
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
time
setting
Fix the agreement mistake
settings
show examples
will let
people
get countless
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bad habits
such
as being uncooperative with others,
Correct word choice
and no
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
with others .
Moreover
, becoming lazy individuals may
also
Add a missing verb
be considerd
show examples
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
consider
to the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
of
television
.
Furthermore
, most
people
who
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
to
television
have
also
some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health issues.
Firstly
,
people
will be obese because lack of physical activity. To illustrate,
people
prefer
eat
Fix the infinitive
to eat
show examples
junk foods and soft drinks rather than eating healthy food, that happens because they have no time to cook or make valuable meals. As
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of these factors, several serious diseases
such
as cancer or cardiovascular diseases may
be affect
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
those
people
.
To sum up
, I strongly believe that,
television
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
multiple
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
disadvantages, which could affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and quality of life
such
as
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
show examples
them
to be
Change preposition
from being
show examples
socially
Change the adverb
social
show examples
people
.
Moreover
, getting
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
diseases
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more likely
happens
Change the verb form
to happen
show examples
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad habits
such
as eating junk food which
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
harms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health .
Submitted by du.sg16 on

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