The growing numbers of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#numbers #people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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In the past,

people

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tend to have weight in their normal range. Nowadays, many

people

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develop obesity and it seems that the number is on the rise.

As a result

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, some are concerned that

this

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issue puts a lot of pressure on the healthcare system. Some

people

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believe that the best solution is to put

exercise

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programs in the

school

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curriculum. In

this

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essay, I argue that physical education in

school

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is needed to improve the health and well-being of

people

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from when they are young.

However

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, there are many other factors that should be taken into account. Putting

exercise

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lessons in the

school

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curriculum ensures that young children will

exercise

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more.

According to

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these programs, those believe that the student will be in shape and they will keep doing

this

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until they are grown-ups. It is going to become one of their habits.

For example

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, some young

people

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use

exercise

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to help them relax after

school

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, and when they are grown up, they still use the same method after work.

However

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, there are many factors that have an impact on

this

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issue.

First,

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people

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eat out more often. There is

food

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provided everywhere and you can have it anytime. Regarding high commercial competition,

food

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industries or restaurants have to serve

food

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that tastes good, so they might end up putting unhealthy ingredients into our

food

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in order to increase sales.

Second,

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working adults tend to have a more sedentary lifestyle than in the past.

For instance

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, they go to work in the morning by car, and they spend time sitting in the workplace for many hours, before back home and watching Netflix for pleasure. In conclusion, Physical education lessons are important to improve health and weight in young

people

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By contrast

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, foods and our daily lifestyles

also

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have a big impact on our weight. In order to decrease pressure on the health care system, we have to consider all of these factors and help design our society.

Submitted by kannu_boat on Fri Sep 22 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
healthcare system
strain
physical education
school curriculum
childhood obesity
health issues
diabetes
heart disease
preventative measures
mental health
overall wellness
controlled environment
participation
nutritional education
community health initiatives

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