In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In the light of proliferation of
technology
, it may indeed be true to claim the
internet
is increasingly becoming the focus of governments and citizens around the globe. There is a public debate that the government is spending a large amount of money improving
internet
access
. In my opinion, it is quite difficult to decide whether to support or reject the statement above because each system has its good and bad points. The essay will examine the pros and cons of
this
trend. What I put in priority is the merits which the
internet
brings about.
Initially
, it is vitally important that the
Internet
plays an important role in the development of any nation. Reliable and high-speed
internet
access
helps companies to improve their work productivity,
hence
, increasing their profits. A company could suffer from the loss of customers
due to
poor
internet
connections. Another factor is the authority organization
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
this
function of high-
technology
to
supervision
Replace the word
supervise
show examples
the amounts of population by online storage and easier to take individuals's
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
. Despite the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
benefits, there exist some demerits that should be taken into consideration. The first and most obvious demerit is that there are other important sectors that require government money. Education and health care are more vital than
technology
because they bring immediate advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
ordinary people. There are millions of people who do not have the opportunity to
access
basic education or medical services.
Therefore
, the government should allocate more money to education and health care
instead
of to improvement of
technology
access
. From what has been analyzed, it is obvious that the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
technology
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not able to compare with the advantages.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Ensure a clear stance is presented in the introduction to guide the reader more effectively.
Example Development
Develop your examples more thoroughly to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Balanced Argument
Consider balancing the discussion of pros and cons more evenly to enhance the comprehensiveness of your response.
Balanced Discussion
The essay effectively outlines both benefits and drawbacks of government investment in technology, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Structure
Your essay's structure, with clear paragraphs for each main point, aids readability and coherence.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussion and reaffirms the writer's stance, providing a clear closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital transformation
  • service delivery
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • tech-savvy
  • contemporary lifestyle
  • public satisfaction
  • data management
  • smart city technologies
  • predictive policing
  • data privacy
  • digital divide
  • inclusivity
  • governance
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: