IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that they should keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #money #tax
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It is a contentious issue whether individuals should be exempt from paying
taxes
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 and keep all their
earnings
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.
While
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 some argue that
people
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 have the right to their hard-earned money, I firmly believe that paying
taxes
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 is a civic duty and essential for the well-being of
society
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. On the one hand, it is understandable that
people
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 might feel that they should not have to part with their
earnings
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, especially if they feel that the government is not using their
taxes
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 efficiently.
Moreover
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, paying
taxes
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 can be a significant burden, particularly for low-income individuals who struggle to make ends meet. In
this
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 sense, it is reasonable to argue that
people
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 should be allowed to keep their money and use it as they see fit.
On the other hand
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, I strongly believe that paying
taxes
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 is crucial for the functioning of a
society
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.
Taxes
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 are used to fund essential public services
such
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 as education, healthcare, and infrastructure, which are vital for the well-being of citizens. Without
taxes
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, these services would not be available, and
society
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 would suffer
as a result
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.
Furthermore
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,
taxes
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 help to redistribute wealth and reduce income inequality, which is essential for promoting social justice and cohesion.
In addition
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, paying
taxes
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 is a civic duty and a responsibility that comes with living in a
society
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. It is a way for individuals to contribute to the common good and to support the government in providing essential services. If
people
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 were not required to pay
taxes
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, it would lead to a breakdown in social order and a lack of accountability. In conclusion,
while
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 I understand the argument that
people
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 should be allowed to keep their
earnings
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, I firmly believe that paying
taxes
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 is essential for the well-being of
society
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. It is a civic duty and a necessary contribution to the common good.
Therefore
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, I disagree with the opinion that
people
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 should not pay
taxes
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 and keep all their
earnings
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.
Submitted by alicema0503 on

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relevant specific examples
The essay could be further improved by providing more concrete examples to support the arguments. Specific real-life examples or data could help to strengthen the points made. For instance, mentioning specific public services and their impact on society would add more depth to the argument.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the coherence is strong, using more transitional phrases could enhance the overall flow and make the essay easier to follow. For example, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'Furthermore' help guide the reader through the arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and summarizing the key points.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point that supports the overall argument. This makes the essay easy to follow and understand.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported with reasoning, making the argument persuasive. The essay addresses potential counterarguments and refutes them effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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