IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Nowadays with the advances in technology, people would rather live in
cities
instead
 of the countryside.
Hence
, the population in
cities
 has risen and it has fallen in the rural areas. I believe it is a negative development
due to
 the increasing air pollution in big
cities
 and growing the average age of the small towns which can cause more gaps in facilities between them and
cities
 in the next years.
To begin
 with, most of the capital
cities
 around the world struggle with air pollution. Increasing the number of cars and the amount of industries' production has led over-crowded
cities
 to face a major crisis.
Moreover
, individuals have to be stuck in huge traffic congestions every day to go to their workplace. It is crystal clear that these
cities
 are not constructed for
this
 number of people and expensive reconstructions and developments are required to adapt them to
this
 crowd.
For example
, governments allocate a huge amount of budget every year to expand the subway and increase the number of buses around the town to accommodate residents.
In addition
 to
this
, by immigrating youngsters to
cities
, the average age of the small towns increases and providing appropriate healthcare for them would be a challenge. On the grounds that most immigrants are the younger ones who have the ambition to find a new career and greater job opportunities in
cities
, the difference in available facilities provided by professionals between
cities
 and the suburbs will be more and more till these places are not suitable to live anymore.
To conclude
, based on the recent development of big
cities
, individuals move from the countryside to these places looking for a career. In my opinion,
this
 trend results in more air pollution in the big
cities
 and
also
 less development of technologies and facilities in the countryside.
Submitted by parham.moonesi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a more concise introduction and conclusion to better frame your essay.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the structure of your essay and ensure that your points are logically connected.
Lexical Resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Review your use of grammar and strive for more accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: