IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Many manufactured food and drinkproducts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#topic #food #drinkproducts #levels #sugar #health #products #people
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The high
sugar
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 content in processed
food
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 and drink
products
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 is a major concern worldwide, as it contributes to numerous
health
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 problems
such
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 as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. To address
this
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 issue, some argue that making sugary
products
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 more expensive could help to reduce
sugar
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consumption
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. I am of the opinion that
this
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 solution has merit, but it must be part of a comprehensive approach to promoting healthy eating habits. One example of the effectiveness of price increases is seen in the implementation of a
sugar
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 tax in Mexico. In 2014, the Mexican government introduced a tax on
sugar
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-sweetened beverages, resulting in a 12% reduction in sales the following year.
Moreover
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, low-income individuals and those living in areas with the highest levels of obesity saw the greatest reduction in
consumption
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.
This
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 demonstrates that making sugary
products
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 more expensive can help to reduce
consumption
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, particularly among those most at risk of
health
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 problems related to
sugar
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intake
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. Another example is the availability of affordable healthy
food
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options
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. In many low-income areas, fast
food
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 and convenience stores are often the only
options
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 for purchasing
food
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. These establishments typically offer inexpensive but unhealthy
options
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, including sugary drinks and snacks. By providing healthier
food
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options
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 at comparable prices, people may be more likely to choose nutritious
options
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, ultimately reducing
sugar
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intake
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.
However
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, it is important to note that making sugary
products
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 more expensive is not a silver bullet solution. Education and awareness campaigns that promote healthy eating habits are
also
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 crucial in reducing
sugar
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consumption
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.
For example
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, the UK government's "Change4Life" campaign promotes healthier
food
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 choices and encourages people to reduce their
sugar
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intake
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.
This
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 campaign includes resources
such
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 as recipe ideas, shopping guides, and educational materials to raise awareness about the
health
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 impacts of
sugar
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consumption
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. In conclusion,
while
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 making sugary
products
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 more expensive can help to reduce
sugar
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consumption
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, it is just one piece of a larger puzzle. Providing affordable healthy
food
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options
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 and promoting education and awareness campaigns are
also
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 necessary components of a comprehensive approach to reducing
sugar
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intake
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 and improving public
health
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.
Submitted by sun1286908654 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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