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Band 6.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism if the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
In these
Change preposition
These
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 days,with the rise of
tourism
, many discussions about the effect of it on the culture of the inhabitants. Some said it will corrupt the traditions when they make a profit from it.
While
 others hold the belief that the most possible way to protect these customs is to commercialise them. The essay agrees with the latter opinion
due to
 the following reasons. First thing
first,
most nations are keeping the achievement of their civilisation in Museums or Exhibition centres, but through travelling around visitors can see more about the cuisine, ornament and arts.
For example
, people with curiosity usually like to hear myths and stories about the local areas, they will have the urge to share them with friends and families, making the customs better known.
However
, the negative effects of making income from traditional activities are
also
 visible, on the ground that some of the aspects of the values may need to change to make money from it.
However
, there is only a small amount of adjustments that are considered bad. From the writer's point of view, the benefits that
tourism
 brings to civilisation is remarkable and with modernized technology, resident can protect the culture and environment more effectively.
Also
,
tourism
 can help a country by augmenting the inhabitant's income
To sum up
, it is better to use
tourism
 as a route to protect the culture.
Hence
, the deterioration of traditional activities will be prevented.
Therefore
, the writer has pointed out the reasons why the advantages of
tourism
 outweigh its advantages
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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