IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

"Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?"

Nowadays, many large corporations relocate their
office
Use synonyms
 to the countryside. Will
such
Linking Words
 a decision be beneficial for their businesses? Some people believe that moving the industries to the suburban
area
Use synonyms
 will give an advantage.
In contrast
Linking Words
, I believe there are severe consequences in pursuing
this
Linking Words
 action.
Thus
Linking Words
, I strongly believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The main reason for companies to establish their
office
Use synonyms
 in a rural
area
Use synonyms
 because the land price is much cheaper than in a city.
For example
Linking Words
, the land cost in Jakarta might
ten
Verb problem
be ten
show examples
 times higher than the price in Karawang, a countryside with around 50 km away from Jakarta. By doing so, the company can save its capital expenses and might build
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 spacious workplace.
However
Linking Words
, the consequence of
this
Linking Words
 decision is that the
office
Use synonyms
 will be far away from the residential
area
Use synonyms
, which makes it harder to
be accessed
Wrong verb form
access
show examples
 by the employees.
This
Linking Words
 condition will eventually reduce the productivity of the workers.
For instance
Linking Words
, the employees must spend more budget in transportation costs, go to the
office
Use synonyms
 earlier, and come home late at night. It can affect employees’ mental and physical health , which in turn will impair the company’s performance.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
office
Use synonyms
 in a remote
area
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 hinder the company from holding meetings or coordinating with stakeholders, because they are mostly located in the centre of a city. In conclusion, the drawbacks of moving a company from an urban
area
Use synonyms
 to a rural
area
Use synonyms
 outweigh its benefits
due to
Linking Words
employee
Correct article usage
the employee
show examples
 commute. It will be more efficient for an enterprise if it places its
office
Use synonyms
 in an
area
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 accessible to its employees.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly show both sides of the argument to improve task response.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your points.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion stated in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You provided good reasons for your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic Development
  • Job Opportunities
  • Local Spending
  • Infrastructure Development
  • Urban Congestion
  • Traffic Congestion
  • Pollution Levels
  • Overpopulation
  • Operational Costs
  • Quality of Life
  • Living Conditions
  • Commuting
  • Community Development
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Social Services
  • Environmental Impact
  • Innovation Hubs
  • Collaborations
  • Profitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: