The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line charts illustrate the trends of
households
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
owning
electronical
Correct your spelling
electrical
electronic
appliances and the total time spent of them are doing housework every week from 1920 to 2019 in a country.
Overall
, over almost a decade, the proportion of all electrical appliances
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
owned by
households
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
growth,
while
the total hours of housework
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
done
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined. The biggest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
of
households
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
owning electrical appliances
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
contributed by washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
at 40% in 1920, and the graph experienced a
fluctuate
Change the verb form
fluctuating
show examples
trend until 2019 to 72%.
Furthermore
, at the beginning of the period, vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
began at 30%,
while
none of
households
Add an article
the households
show examples
were owning
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
.
Then
, vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
faced a significant increase to 100% in 2000. Meanwhile,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
rose notably to 100% in 1980.
In addition
, the ownership of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
and
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
show examples
at the exact same number until 2019. Moving onto the second chart,
households
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doing housework started at 50% in the first period before facing a significant decline of 30% in the next
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. Afterwards, the graph experienced a gradual decrease to 10% over fifty-nine years.
Submitted by zakiyaartanti19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words households with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: