Some people believe that women should be able to join their country's army and police forces, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion, including examples from your knowledge and experience.
in the concurrent era,
women
in the military played a crucial role in the protection of the country. the majority of people favor
Change the spelling
favour
women
taking part in police and any other services
while
others oppose it. The following paragraph highlights the perspectives of both which will lead to a logical conclusion.
analyzing the statement, women
being able to join the army and police services
is the promotion of gender equality. However
, women
are more courageous to be part of government services
because it can lead to a diverse and inclusive environment in male-dominated fields. If women
participate in the military; they face hardship and decide for the betterment of the country. For example
, in Pakistan, the higher authorities make a set for women
in police, army, and medical doctors so that is
why I believe women
should work in public services
. in addition
, governments offer many jobs for women
to make a society with equality and the importance of women
.
on the other hand
, some people argue that women
are unhealthy and physically unfit to compete with their opponents and unable to survive in the war. however
, many of the sectors hired more men than women
because women
make decisions emotionally not practically. Unfortunately, many of the society think that ladies just take care of their household stuff not to supervise the men. According to
Google survey results, 90 percent
population often want to be men in different fields than Change the spelling
per cent
women
.
To sum up
, for the aforementioned reasons, I believe women
should participate in every field and show themselves they can do everything. Women
should depend on themselves and face all the hurdles in their life.Submitted by alviusman18 on
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task achievement
Refine the thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline the main points of discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are structured logically, with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
task achievement
Avoid overgeneralizing in the counter-arguments. Provide balanced views with supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Improve transition between paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to improve readability and engagement.
task achievement
The introduction provides a general overview of the debate and sets the stage for discussion.
task achievement
The essay recognizes and discusses both perspectives on women joining the army and police forces.
task achievement
Examples are included to support the main points, particularly the reference to Pakistan.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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