Some people believe that women should be able to join their country's army and police forces, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion, including examples from your knowledge and experience.

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in the concurrent era,

women

Use synonyms

in the military played a crucial role in the protection of the country. the majority of people

favor

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favour

show examples

women

Use synonyms

taking part in police and any other

services

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while

Linking Words

others oppose it. The following paragraph highlights the perspectives of both which will lead to a logical conclusion. analyzing the statement,

women

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being able to join the army and police

services

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is the promotion of gender equality.

However

Linking Words

women

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are more courageous to be part of government

services

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because it can lead to a diverse and inclusive environment in male-dominated fields. If

women

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participate in the military; they face hardship and decide for the betterment of the country.

For example

Linking Words

, in Pakistan, the higher authorities make a set for

women

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in police, army, and medical doctors so

that is

Linking Words

why I believe

women

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should work in public

services

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in addition

Linking Words

, governments offer many jobs for

women

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to make a society with equality and the importance of

women

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on the other hand

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, some people argue that

women

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are unhealthy and physically unfit to compete with their opponents and unable to survive in the war.

however

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, many of the sectors hired more men than

women

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because

women

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make decisions emotionally not practically. Unfortunately, many of the society think that ladies just take care of their household stuff not to supervise the men.

According to

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Google survey results, 90

percent

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per cent

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population often want to be men in different fields than

women

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To sum up

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, for the aforementioned reasons, I believe

women

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should participate in every field and show themselves they can do everything.

Women

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should depend on themselves and face all the hurdles in their life.

alviusman18Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

Refine the thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline the main points of discussion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that paragraphs are structured logically, with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

task achievement

Avoid overgeneralizing in the counter-arguments. Provide balanced views with supporting evidence.

coherence cohesion

Improve transition between paragraphs to enhance flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of sentence structures to improve readability and engagement.

task achievement

The introduction provides a general overview of the debate and sets the stage for discussion.

task achievement

The essay recognizes and discusses both perspectives on women joining the army and police forces.

task achievement

Examples are included to support the main points, particularly the reference to Pakistan.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Gender equality
Diversity and inclusion
Talent pool
Physical strength and endurance
Unit cohesion
Morale
Effectiveness
Training and support structures
Critics
Unique skills and perspectives

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Some people believe that women should be able to join their country's army and police forces, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion, including examples from your knowledge and experience.

Your opinion

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

Recently some people can work from home using modern technology. some say this only benefits the workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many customs and traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to modern life and not worth keeping. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.