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Band 5

Do you think it is better for governments to spend money developing public transportation or developing new kinds of cars? Why or why not? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #money #transportation #kinds #cars
I think it is the best thing for countries to invest capital in the advancement of public
transportation
instead
 of making new
cars
. I will explain in
this
 essay why it is beneficial to do
this
.
To begin
 with, the environment is a key to our good health. If governments spend
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to develop public transit many folk will stop buying
cars
 and
use
 public
transportation
.
Furthermore
, when
Correct article usage
the
show examples
population
use
 public buses there will be less
use
 of
cars
 means a decrease co 2 gas which is very harmful to the environment.
In addition
, if the environment is good
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 will be prevented
therefore
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can save the budget for spending on the health sector so they can benefit
Change preposition
from that
show examples
that
Change preposition
from that
show examples
 budget
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where necessary.
In addition
, the advancement of public
transportation
 encourages
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 to practice it.
Moreover
, many people will
use
 a public bus or train so there will be less traffic on the road
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a result whoever facing an emergency situation can reach on time to their destination.
For example
, In my
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 it is so hard to pass ambulances because we have small roads and not very good public transport
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 most people
use
 their private vehicles. So in
this
 ,situation advancement of public transport will play a big role in encouraging them to
use
 public transport. In conclusion, the government should spend capital to develop public
transportation
instead
 of investing in making new and modern
cars
. It will help
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 not only stay healthy but
also
traffic free
Add a hyphen
traffic-free
show examples
. If more communities
use
 public bus or train the government can earn more cash and they can benefit in various sector where necessary.
Submitted by gelbu2021 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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