The prevention of diseases should be prioritized by the government that their treatment. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that preventing diseases and their spread is more sensible and economical than curing them, and ,
therefore
Linking Words
, should be subsidized more.
Although
Linking Words
I agree with that statement, I believe treatment should not be disregarded
due to
Linking Words
several reasons. One of the strongest arguments for prioritizing
prevention
Use synonyms
is its cost-effectiveness. Preventative measures,
such
Linking Words
as vaccination programs, health education, and an active lifestyle, can significantly reduce the financial burden of curing and treating.
As a result
Linking Words
, the money spared on medicine, the
government
Use synonyms
could allocate to other fields, improving the
overall
Linking Words
quality of life. Not only do
prevention
Use synonyms
measures help to spare finances, but they
also
Linking Words
mitigate the influx of patients into
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
. As more sick people arrive at hospitals and medical centres, the higher pressure on doctors and nurses,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads to the loss of concentration and increases the probability of a mistake. Despite the undeniable pros of prioritizing preventative initiatives, I believe a balanced approach is the most effective option.
That is
Linking Words
to say, treating and curing is
also
Linking Words
essential, as it helps to rescue numerous patients who did not manage to take care of themselves.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if the
government
Use synonyms
only encourages
prevention
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
will lead to public discontent because people will be afraid of becoming ill, which negatively affects the
government
Use synonyms
's reputation. And
lastly
Linking Words
, supporting treatment can positively impact medicine and improve or create new ways to prevent diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, by studying and curing individuals who have cancer, scientists and doctors may discover the disease's weak points and soon have an opportunity to understand how to avoid it at the initial stages. All things considered, the disease treatment is, in fact, more costly for the
government
Use synonyms
than its
prevention
Use synonyms
and is, sometimes, even less effective. Notwithstanding
this
Linking Words
, I view a balanced approach, which does not prioritize any of the two methods as the most effective
due to
Linking Words
its value for science, facilitation of public satisfaction, and ethics.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the conclusion to reinforce your arguments and provide a final thought that ties everything together.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are clear and logical to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments further, particularly in the discussion of treatment options.
content
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both prevention and treatment of diseases.
structure
Arguments are generally well-structured and relate closely to the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: