Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There has been a rise in the
tourism
industry in recent years.
This
has led to two different views, one says that commercial activities will lead to deterioration in the authentic
cultures
,
while
others think that
tourism
will help keep the
cultures
alive.
This
writer considers the financial and educational support of the industry
while
noticing how some tourists indirectly damage
traditions
. It is known that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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is not only for taking a break from work and daily life, it is
also
an opportunity to learn about customs around the world. Many travel for
this
knowledge and are willing to share it with others back at home.
This
is one of the support points for how
tourism
can continue to thrive. What is more,
by
Change preposition
apply
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combining
cultures
into
tourism
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps increase the
overall
budget of the
area
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area's
show examples
current running economy. With stable income for the inhabitants, they will have even more time and finances to put into running their
traditions
. Turning to the other view, critics use the point that many tourists do not care about the culture at all, and a lot of them show disrespect
as well as
acts like littering, which damage the sight of
cultures
.
This
is a valid point,
however
, they did not think of the fact that if
cultures
are not used for revenue, they would be more likely to disappear. As there is no budget to keep the
traditions
going or people who at least have an interest in them, customs will die. It happens in every aspect, not just
traditions
. All in all, it is clear why the opinion of
tourism
ruining
cultures
is not logical and has many flaws,
whereas
the view of
cultures
that can be saved by the industry has multiple valid reasons and is correct.

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task response
In the introduction, provide a clear thesis statement outlining your opinion on the issue.
task response
Ensure that your main points are supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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