Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue

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There has been a rise in the

tourism

Use synonyms

industry in recent years.

This

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has led to two different views, one says that commercial activities will lead to deterioration in the authentic

cultures

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while

Linking Words

others think that

tourism

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will help keep the

cultures

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alive.

This

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writer considers the financial and educational support of the industry

while

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noticing how some tourists indirectly damage

traditions

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. It is known that

traveling

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travelling

show examples

is not only for taking a break from work and daily life, it is

also

Linking Words

an opportunity to learn about customs around the world. Many travel for

this

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knowledge and are willing to share it with others back at home.

This

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is one of the support points for how

tourism

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can continue to thrive. What is more,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

combining

cultures

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into

tourism

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

helps increase the

overall

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budget of the

area

Change noun form

area's

show examples

current running economy. With stable income for the inhabitants, they will have even more time and finances to put into running their

traditions

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. Turning to the other view, critics use the point that many tourists do not care about the culture at all, and a lot of them show disrespect

as well as

Linking Words

acts like littering, which damage the sight of

cultures

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This

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is a valid point,

however

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, they did not think of the fact that if

cultures

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are not used for revenue, they would be more likely to disappear. As there is no budget to keep the

traditions

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going or people who at least have an interest in them, customs will die. It happens in every aspect, not just

traditions

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. All in all, it is clear why the opinion of

tourism

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ruining

cultures

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is not logical and has many flaws,

whereas

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the view of

cultures

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that can be saved by the industry has multiple valid reasons and is correct.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Sep 25 2023

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task response

In the introduction, provide a clear thesis statement outlining your opinion on the issue.

task response

Ensure that your main points are supported with specific examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Improve the use of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.