Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue

There has been a rise in the

tourism

industry in recent years.

This

has led to two different views, one says that commercial activities will lead to deterioration in the authentic

cultures

while

others think that

tourism

will help keep the

cultures

alive.

This

writer considers the financial and educational support of the industry

while

noticing how some tourists indirectly damage

traditions

. It is known that

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

is not only for taking a break from work and daily life, it is

also

an opportunity to learn about customs around the world. Many travel for

this

knowledge and are willing to share it with others back at home.

This

is one of the support points for how

tourism

can continue to thrive. What is more,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

combining

cultures

into

tourism

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

helps increase the

overall

budget of the

area

Change noun form

area's

show examples

current running economy. With stable income for the inhabitants, they will have even more time and finances to put into running their

traditions

. Turning to the other view, critics use the point that many tourists do not care about the culture at all, and a lot of them show disrespect

as well as

acts like littering, which damage the sight of

cultures

This

is a valid point,

however

, they did not think of the fact that if

cultures

are not used for revenue, they would be more likely to disappear. As there is no budget to keep the

traditions

going or people who at least have an interest in them, customs will die. It happens in every aspect, not just

traditions

. All in all, it is clear why the opinion of

tourism

ruining

cultures

is not logical and has many flaws,

whereas

the view of

cultures

that can be saved by the industry has multiple valid reasons and is correct.

Mon Sep 25 2023

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task response

In the introduction, provide a clear thesis statement outlining your opinion on the issue.

task response

Ensure that your main points are supported with specific examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Improve the use of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the best way to learn is from a newspaper. Others think that the best way to learn is through media. Discuss each views and your opinion.

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?

It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the humanity is coming apart while others feel that we are getting closer to each other. Is humanity driving apart or together?