Topic 10: In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
In the
last
century, the Linking Words
world
witnessed regular famines, Use synonyms
world
wars and pandemics hampering the average human life. But, now with the onset of technological advancements and improvements in medical care, the average expectancy of humans in the developed Use synonyms
world
has increased to an all-time high. Use synonyms
However
, I believe Linking Words
this
could create potential ramifications for society. In the below sections, I would throw more light on the problems and the ways to mitigate them.
Linking Words
Firstly
, since people can live longer, it can create more demand for available food & shelter. Linking Words
Hence
, potential fights for the same supply are expected to happen in society in the near future, which could increase inflation and cause huge strain on the economy. Linking Words
Moreover
, the retirement age in these developed nations would be raised from 60 years to 70 years. Linking Words
Due to
Linking Words
this
, the aged population would be still working in the jobs, which can limit the opportunities for the younger population. If it's unchecked, there is a high chance the job market would be very competitive and the employers might opt for unlawful practices of employing younger employees at a lower wage.
In order to prevent the demand problems of higher life expectancy, the best way is to produce more food supply in a sustainable way. The governments should leverage efficient technologies to generate maximum yield from the crops to feed the growing population. Linking Words
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, the younger generation should not consider the older people as their job competitors, rather they should leverage the old one's experience for their betterment. Linking Words
Thus
, if both Linking Words
the
people from the opposite spectrum of age work together, the country's productivity and economy can be boosted.
So to summarize, an increase in average life expectancy in the developed Correct article usage
apply
world
Use synonyms
,
is a good problem to solve. If it's properly addressed, some of the key risks it poses can be completely mitigated and be used for the country's upliftment.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by nusramkumar on
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Introduction
A strong introduction sets the stage well, but could be more concise. Aim for clearer, more direct sentences to grab the reader's attention quickly.
Examples
Try to integrate more varied examples to support your arguments. While your discussion is well-reasoned, bringing in specific studies or data can add weight to your claims.
Coherence
Your essay flows well, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more explicit linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
Conclusion
End your essay with a more impactful conclusion. Summarize your key points more strongly and suggest a clear, forward-looking statement or call to action.
Task Response
Offers a well-structured argument that effectively addresses both parts of the question: the problems associated with increased life expectancy and potential solutions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Uses a variety of sentence structures and a clear logical sequence of ideas, facilitating easy reading and understanding.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.