many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news evetns. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

#people #world #media #touch #news #evetns

Due to

the advent of technology, there has been a shift towards individuals’ ways of informing and communicating.

Although

losing connection might be considerable, I believe that the advantages of immediacy and convenience of the social network will certainly surpass that downside. It is vital to understand that the speed of the Internet is so impressive that it can deliver a huge amount of information within a few seconds.

Due to

this

, inhabitants will be able to read daily news immediately from social apps to keep up with changes all over the earth.

Moreover

, contacting other people over long distances will be faster than in the past, which helps conversations go smoothly without being delayed for so long

Remove the comma

apply

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as if they were in a direct chat in person Another upside

that is

worth considering is the easy and all-aged access to the

media

platform. With the worldwide expanding network, everyone can have a conversation with others anywhere.

This

should benefit citizens, especially family members to keep in contact with one another regularly. Take a long period of COVID-19 as a prime example,

while

being isolated because of infection, inhabitants could use the free-access

media

apps to get daily news and dial their relatives.

However

, using social

media

every day might create a feeling of boredom to the outside nature. Some people after exposing to

media

apps find it unnecessary to interact with others in reality,

instead

, they will immerse themselves in the visual world.

Hence

, that would result in a boring and speechless world. In conclusion, despite the unconnected world will appear in the near future, it cannot be denied the convenience of social

media

has benefited society in terms of communicating and informing global events.

Mon Mar 18 2024

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Work on developing more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Incorporating concrete examples or personal experiences can make your essay more compelling.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to link ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

In your introduction, clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This will make your position more clear from the beginning.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news evetns. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Fully explain your ideas

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays there is a trend that media focuses on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think that it is harmful to individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree ?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.