IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is claimed that
culture
 can be damaged because of exploiting it for
tourism
. Despite the writer contending that
culture
 can be safeguarded by
tourism
, others hold a belief that it will be ruined
due to
tourism
 and globalization. On the one hand, a number of people are concerned that cultural
values
 will be eroded if they are used to make money. The reason for
this
 is that exhibits seem to be ruined more easily by human impacts.
For example
, 100-year-old statues displayed in a museum may be touched and physically affected by a number of visitor flocks, which could make them destroyed gradually.
Furthermore
, many
tourism
 companies, today, pay more attention to building luxury and new buildings
such
 as a range of modern resorts and sparkling hotel systems in order to attract more visitors.
Consequently
, tourists tend to turn their back on the paces of traditional
values
, which could make the
culture
 less popular.
On the other hand
, the
tourism
 sector is a great tool that the government can rely on to prevent their cultural
values
 from deteriorating. Enterprises in the
tourism
 industry have enough necessary resources and abilities to maintain the original condition of heritage. It is obvious that national heritages need to be conserved properly by professionals. What is more,
tourism
 plays a vital role in advertising the cultural
values
 of a country to not only local people but
also
 overseas ones.
Therefore
, the
culture
 would become more prevalent to many travellers. The writer's opinion advocates that
tourism
 is merely a way of safeguarding
culture
.
This
 is because
culture
 will be introduced and can be famous
due to
 its uniqueness.
Also
,
tourism
 can help a country by augmenting the inhabitant's income In conclusion, critics argue that
culture
 will be destroyed because of
tourism
. Others claim that
tourism
 can protect the
culture
's worthiness and meaning
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: