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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many rare species are being poached. What are the reasons behind this? What can be done about this problem/?

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Without out doubt,nowadays,
species
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 which are rare
being
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are being
show examples
 hunted illegally, and those
species
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 are numerous.There are several causes of
this
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 alarming trend, but
mesaures
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measures
 could certainly be taken to solve
this
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 problem. Certain problems are often associated with poaching. The main problem is that many
people
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 want to
hunt
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 these
species
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 either for their sport or decoration at home.
In other words
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,
while
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 some individuals try to
hunt
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 for for making special
item
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items
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 like deer
antler
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antlers
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 at home, others
do
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apply
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hunt
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 rare
species
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 for
sport activity
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sports activities
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 that they do like archery
bow
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bowls
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. Another reason is
that
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the
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 lack of awareness which leads to illegal hunting.
People
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 may not be aware of How much
ecologiacal
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ecological
 and biodervitay is important.
For instance
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, the presence of apex
predactors
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predators
predictors
,
such
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 as tigers or wolves can help control the population of other animals and maintain balance within the food chain.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 may engage in poaching as a source of income,
particulary
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particularly
 in areas with limited economic
oppurtuines
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opportunities
 like Africa.
However
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, there are various steps that the government could take to tackle these problems.
Firstly
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, they could set specific laws for
people
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 who
hunt
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 illegally. By implementing strict penalties and fines for those caught engaging in
such
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activites
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activities
.
Secondly
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, educational institutes like universities and schools play a key role in shaping individuals, so it is important to teach students how the environment may be threatened by poaching.
Thirdly
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, the government should pay attention to
themajority
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the majority
 of
people
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 who suffer from financial
situation
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situations
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, and try to balance
this
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 issue by receiving taxes from rich
people
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 there are various reasons for the poaching of many rare
species
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, and steps need to
betaken
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be taken
show examples
 to solve
this
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 problem.

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported by relevant examples, and clarify your ideas further. This can help in achieving a higher coherence and cohesion score.
language
Proofread your essay for grammatical and spelling errors. This can improve the clarity and overall presentation of your work.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and identifies multiple causes for the problem of poaching rare species.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which contribute to an organized presentation.
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