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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe tertiary education should be free, but others say universities should charge students. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #education #universities #charge #students
A group of individuals present the view that
students
 should not pay
university
 tuition fees,
whereas
 others believe tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 must be taken from
students
. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
 justifiably argue that the
people
 who are talented and can be useful for a country who suffer from financial problems,
this
 opportunity to study in a good
university
 is taken away from them. From an educational standpoint, all
people
 should benefit from equal conditions for academic studies and
this
 opportunity can be given by holding an entrance exam. From a social perspective, if certain
people
 only have
this
 chance and go to
university
, it can cause a class gap in society.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
 claim that the salaries of the employees and the budget of the
university
 should be provided through the tuition fees of the
students
. They insist that the government should not bear the cost of
students
' education.
However
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing as
students
 have no duty to fund universities. The government should invest in
students
 and nurture them in order to use them in different positions in the future.
Besides
 studying,
students
 can participate in research and industrial projects of universities, which makes part of the budget of universities to be provided.
To conclude
, In my view, It is not
fare
Correct your spelling
fair
show examples
 to study by paying money. All
people
 in the world should be able to study.
Moreover
, the government should invest in
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and nurture them in order to use them in different positions in future.
Submitted by jbl1541374 on

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Grammar & Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and ensure the right word choices for clarity.
Task Achievement
Try to expand your analysis by adding more specific examples to support your arguments effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
To further enhance logical flow, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Structure
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making your points easy to follow.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both views on the topic before stating your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirement.
Language Use
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary education
  • fundamental right
  • socio-economic background
  • equality
  • innovation
  • student debt burden
  • financial strain
  • tuition fees
  • facilities
  • research opportunities
  • motivated
  • engaged
  • taxes
  • subsidized
  • specialized fields
  • exclusive expertise
  • economy
  • productivity
  • workforce
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