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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays we have become a throwaway society with where it is common to throw away devices and gadgets instead of repairing them. Why is this happening and what are the effects of this?

#society #devices #gadgets #effects
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Many populations prefer to abandon their devices when they start to break rather than send them to the service centre in order to fix the damages.
This
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 essay will explain the reasons for
this
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 phenomenon
along with
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 its effect on society.
Firstly
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, the foremost reason associated with
this
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 situation is the expensive repair cost. Repairing these gadgets,especially high-tech wizardry requires a substantial amount of money which makes people think twice about whether it is better to repair it than buy a new one. It is because those devices -which are already damaged- have a higher risk of being errors in the future.
For instance
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,
according to
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 Indonesian Tech Magazine, phones that have screen damage are more likely to error with similar issues within a year. Regarding those issues, increasing electronic waste and a rise in electronic need in those areas is the direct impact. That kind of junk, a waste that contains electronic parts like batteries and screens, is dangerous for nature. If it does not get serious attention from society, it could cause severe environmental degradation. One of the high-tech analysts from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Abdul Roni, researched the substantial impact of battery waste on soil quality in developing countries which resulted in the that mercury contained in batteries could directly affect to quality of the soil .
In addition
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, the rise in need could happen if the public tends to buy new gadgets which could lead to an increase in the price of those technologies since the supply and demand are not balanced. In conclusion, an expensive repair budget and a higher risk of apparatus being error in the future are the reasons why communities continuously buy electronic devices
instead
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 of going to service centres.
As a result
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, Increasing the number of electronic junks
along with
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 the high demand for
this
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 equipment could be happened as an effect.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main idea and supports it with relevant examples. Use transition words and cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a logical flow.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt, providing a clear opinion and discussing the reasons and effects in detail. Use specific examples to support your points and ensure all ideas are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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