Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Few individuals believe that parents are responsible for inculcating good values in their

children

while

others oppose

this

ideology by saying that educational institutions are liable for making the

children

responsible members of the community. I,

however

, wholeheartedly concur that both play a significant role and contribute equally to teaching good manners to

children

. On one side of the argument, there are people who believe that parents are solely responsible for teaching minors about how to become responsible individuals. The main reason for believing

this

is that birthgivers are the primary role models for their

children

In other words

, it is well known that

children

learn more from observation and try to imitate the actions of their elderly people. When they demonstrate a positive attitude and etiquette to their offspring, they will ultimately emulate and adopt the same in their life.

For instance

, when parents greet their ancestors at home by using magical words

such

as please, thank you and many more, kids would follow the same.

On the other hand

, school is the place where

children

learn more about the importance of collaborative learning. They spend most of their time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the day in school with their peers and educational faculty, where they get many opportunities to take part in group tasks.

Doing

Change preposition

By doing

show examples

this

, they learn how to respect others and help them

in achieving

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

their goals

alongside

Change preposition

while

show examples

working

for

Change preposition

show examples

their own. A particularly good example here is organising annual functions, sports events and other communal festivals by schools to promote a sense of integrity among students. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question., I tend to believe that both contribute in their own way to make the child a responsible citizen of the society

Submitted by meghnabawa91 on Tue Sep 26 2023

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task response

Task Response: Although the main points are well-explained, some aspects of the prompt were not fully addressed. For instance, the role of parents and schools in teaching good values could have been elaborated further.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is generally good, and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, there are minor issues with the overall flow and coherence of the ideas. Ensure that each paragraph connects effectively to the next, and use cohesive devices to strengthen the relationships between ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?