Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in environmental issues
due to
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the increase of motor vehicles.
While
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many
people
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argue that more precious are plants and
animals
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, others believe that the most important is our surroundings.
This
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essay will discuss both notions and provide an opinion
at the end
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of
this
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topic. On the one hand, the main reason is that trees and living things maintain the ecosystem, and life cycle on the earth. Forest gives shelter to the wild
animals
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,
whereas
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these live in their tiny houses. Another factor is that the forest brings rain when it comes in contact with the clouds. Wild
animals
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eat grass and other protein foods from the jungle.
For example
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, in Australia, every year in the summer months, jungles met with fire and destroyed
animals
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and their food resources.
As a result
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, it stops the development of our ecosystem.
On the other hand
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, the primary reason is the drastic increment in building works,
people
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build houses and chop down dense forests,
due to
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that habitat lost their shelters and are unable to balance the eco-system which is why
people
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are not getting enough rain to plough their fields.
In addition
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, pollution is
also
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a major issue,
whereas
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humans use their motor cars and produce sound and air pollution.
Due to
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this
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soil getting contaminated, fish and other creatures have died.
For example
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, in India, Delhi 100 meters below the ground level, the soil has been infected
due to
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dangerous chemicals released by the factory owners.
As a consequence
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, many mankind are suffering from health diseases. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
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if our environment is safe
then
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forests and
animals
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will be safe, so we have to campaign and alert the
people
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about upcoming dangers
due to
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some
animals
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going extinct.
Further
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, it is predicted that if the Government does not take any action, it may damage our earth in the future as well.

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coherence & cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas. Some transitions between points are abrupt and could benefit from smoother linking phrases.
task achievement
Include more detailed and clear arguments to support the points made. For instance, elaborating on how the loss of species directly affects human life would strengthen the response.
general
Address minor grammatical and lexical errors to improve overall readability and accuracy. For example, the phrase 'more precious are plants and animals' could be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, addressing the main points for each side.
coherence & cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriate, providing a solid structure for the essay.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to illustrate points, such as the example of forest fires in Australia and pollution in Delhi.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem services
  • genetic diversity
  • food chains
  • climate change
  • habitat destruction
  • pollution
  • overpopulation
  • deforestation
  • water scarcity
  • holistic approach
  • environmental sustainability
  • irreversible loss
  • threatened species
  • conservation efforts
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