Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in environmental issues
due to
the increase of motor vehicles. While
many people
argue that more precious are plants and animals
, others believe that the most important is our surroundings. This
essay will discuss both notions and provide an opinion at the end
of this
topic.
On the one hand, the main reason is that trees and living things maintain the ecosystem, and life cycle on the earth. Forest gives shelter to the wild animals
, whereas
these live in their tiny houses. Another factor is that the forest brings rain when it comes in contact with the clouds. Wild animals
eat grass and other protein foods from the jungle. For example
, in Australia, every year in the summer months, jungles met with fire and destroyed animals
and their food resources. As a result
, it stops the development of our ecosystem.
On the other hand
, the primary reason is the drastic increment in building works, people
build houses and chop down dense forests, due to
that habitat lost their shelters and are unable to balance the eco-system which is why people
are not getting enough rain to plough their fields. In addition
, pollution is also
a major issue, whereas
humans use their motor cars and produce sound and air pollution. Due to
this
soil getting contaminated, fish and other creatures have died. For example
, in India, Delhi 100 meters below the ground level, the soil has been infected due to
dangerous chemicals released by the factory owners. As a consequence
, many mankind are suffering from health diseases.
In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides, it is clear that
if our environment is safe then
forests and animals
will be safe, so we have to campaign and alert the people
about upcoming dangers due to
some animals
going extinct. Further
, it is predicted that if the Government does not take any action, it may damage our earth in the future as well.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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coherence & cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas. Some transitions between points are abrupt and could benefit from smoother linking phrases.
task achievement
Include more detailed and clear arguments to support the points made. For instance, elaborating on how the loss of species directly affects human life would strengthen the response.
general
Address minor grammatical and lexical errors to improve overall readability and accuracy. For example, the phrase 'more precious are plants and animals' could be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, addressing the main points for each side.
coherence & cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriate, providing a solid structure for the essay.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to illustrate points, such as the example of forest fires in Australia and pollution in Delhi.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?