As a result of electronic inventions, people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Electronic devices have caused people to take up vigorous body activities at a lesser rate and
this
newest trend is taking a toll on the general health of the public . I,vividly, support
this
notion as health issues pertaining to the excessive usage of technological devices have risen in the past decade. To initiate , playing video games ,watching online series and to name many have prompted the sedentary lifestyle. As with restricted body movements , the metabolism rate decreases , and the chances of getting obese are higher because food gets digested at a comparatively slower pace. The USA
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and Mexico are the eye-openers for the rest of the world which has topped the list of obese people owing to their lazy schedules.
Moreover
, sticking to a limited space , let's say , to a bed , or on a couch is linked with muscle-related problems giving rise to locomotory disorders.
Furthermore
, constantly looking into a device puts an added strain on the eye muscles .
Hence
, leads to problems of the eyes like fatigue , myopia , and heteromyopia. In India , school-going students are the largest number of patients in the ophthalmology department of any hospital since they are the prime users of smartphones and laptops .
Also
, as the eye and brain are directly associated with body parts , the effect on one invariably leads to the problem in the other.
For example
, with the rise in eye issues other common symptoms like headache , and dizziness are
also
on the rise.
Thus
,hampering the day-to-day activities of a child.
To conclude
,it is said that
although
technology has played a mammoth role in the development of humankind, its disastrous effects cannot be overlooked.
Instead
,a poised approach harmonizing the right and limited usage of electric tools can yield the desirable effects.
Submitted by lkapila25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: