The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is true that
technology
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has significant improvements in many aspects these days. A certain part of individuals suggest that the most essential target for
technology
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ought to enhance human lives. I completely agree with
this
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statement since
technology
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not only can facilitate the medical environment but
also
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benefit the agricultural sector in many terms. From the outset, advanced science can undoubtedly strengthen the medical field by creating innovative techniques and intricate devices. To elaborate, the death rate used to be outrageously high before the 21st century when various medical machines and skills emerged.
While
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experts and allied specialists begin to put heroic efforts into the medical spectrum nowadays, different forms of extraordinary medical devices have been invented,
such
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as sophisticated machines for helping patients who were diagnosed with inspiratory diseases like tuberculosis, or certain techniques that aim at giving birth.
As a result
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, either the death rate or fertility rate in society had made positive progress.
Consequently
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maintaining a decent quality of our life.
On the other hand
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, innovative science can viably impact agriculture. To cite an example, many semi-arid areas have suffered from terrible drought. With superior irrigation systems created in the contemporary world,
this
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sort of phenomenon can be addressed holistically, and concomitantly reinvigorating the economy.
For example
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, several Middle Eastern countries have all suffering from
this
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situation for a
while
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, attributed to their defectively geographical condition. Since scientists introduced the irrigation system, they have
subsequently
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been able to provide food for themselves,
moreover
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, export their products worldwide.
This
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again proves that human-aimed
technology
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witnessed good effects and plays an integral role in
this
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modern world.
To conclude
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, since cutting-edge science and terrific
technology
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can benefit people’s lives in the medical field and agricultural range, I personally support and agree with the topic.
Submitted by s0210116 on

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Structure and Clarity
Your essay presents a clear and well-structured argument, effectively addressing the essay prompt. Continue to provide clear examples to support your main points as you did here.
Coherence and Cohesion
You smoothly transition between paragraphs and ideas, creating a natural flow to your writing. To further improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to showcase your language flexibility.
Relevance of Ideas
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Use of Examples
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Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, providing a strong opening and a compelling, summarized closure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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