IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is a fact that the current way of life is different from the past
due to
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 the rise of many technological inventions, yet there are a lot of people who may argue
otherwise
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.
This
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 essay will outline the reasons why I completely agree with the notion that
such
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 innovations still fail to make the public emotionally satisfied.
Firstly
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, the internet is the biggest factor in revolutionizing the world today and setting the motion for the digital era.
This
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 invention gave rise to social media and to social pressure
as a result
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 of that. Platforms like Facebook, YouTube and Twitter are now preferred as the mainstream media and allow everyone to be easily accessible online. Contents are regularly uploaded by everyone in an effort to go viral, which in fact is causing serious mental health issues, especially among young vulnerable children.
Secondly
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, the invention of smartphones from the old-fashioned flip phones has certainly contributed to shaping
this
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 era as digital. Unlike before, social interactions no longer take place in a coffee shop or playground between friends but on a phone screen with animated emojis.
This
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 has led the generation to become less social in comparison to its ancestors which may typically lead the youth to struggle with communication or interpersonal skills when looking for jobs that do not involve the virtual realm. These factors must be taken into consideration when analyzing whether or not the way of life has changed for the better or worse.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there have been major innovative advancements to make life or work easier than before, the implications of these inventions outweigh their benefits. I agree with the studies that show a large number of individuals are struggling with their mental health and social skills because of these inventions.

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coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to clearly state your position on the given topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately summarize your main points and provide a concise overview of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on improving the varied use of sentence structures and grammar.
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