Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

When
people
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apply for a
job
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, some
companies
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ask for personal
information
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.
For example
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, they may ask about
hobbies
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, interests, and
if
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whether
show examples
the person is married or single.Some
people
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think
this
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information
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is useful, but others think it is not important. I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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believe personal
information
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can help
companies
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know more about the person.
For example
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,
hobbies
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can show a person’s character. If someone likes playing football, it can mean they are good at teamwork. If they like reading, it can show they like learning.
Also
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, knowing if someone is married can help
companies
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plan work time or travel. So
this
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information
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can sometimes be helpful for the
job
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.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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think
this
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kind of
information
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is private. It is not related to work skills.
For example
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, someone may not get the
job
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because they are married and the company thinks they are not flexible.
This
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is unfair.
Also
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, some
hobbies
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may make employers think wrongly about a person. Employers should focus on the person’s experience and skills, not their private life. In my opinion,
companies
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should not ask too much personal
information
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.
Hobbies
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can be okay if it is related to the
job
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, but questions about marriage should not be asked. It can cause unfair treatment. In conclusion, some personal
information
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may be useful, but it can
also
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be private and not related to the
job
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.
Companies
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should mainly look at skills and experience.

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content
The answer has good view on both sides and a clear own view.
structure
Make ideas flow better with a clear path from one idea to the next. Use topic sentences and link words.
lexical
Use only simple words and keep good range of small ideas. Some words are used many times; use some new but still easy words.
grammar
Check writing for small grammar errors and spaces after periods. Fix this to be clear.
content
Clear view on both sides and a direct opinion.
content
Examples about teamwork and private life show main ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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