You live in a small university towm.last week.Youdrove to a big city about 2 hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price.I worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly.however,this week,the laptop doesn't even switch on.Write to the store.In my my letter: °tell the store where you live& what you live happened °explain the problem °state what action you would like the store to help

Dear Customer Service Manager, I am writing to you regarding a
laptop
I purchased from your store in Tashkent
last
week. I live in the small university town of Muborak and
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
to your store on JULY 21 specifically to take advantage of the excellent price
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
a new
laptop
. I have been using the
laptop
every day since my purchase and completed a significant assignment due shortly.
However
, I was dismayed to discover that the
laptop
will not power on
this
week. I have tried all troubleshooting steps,
such
as checking the power cord and battery, but the issue persists. As the
laptop
was purchased only
last
week, I believe it is likely a manufacturing defect and would appreciate your assistance in resolving
this
issue. I would like to request a replacement
laptop
or a full refund for the faulty device. I am available to return the
laptop
to your store at a time convenient for you. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely,
salimboy
Correct your spelling
slim boy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your letter for small grammatical and punctuation errors to enhance clarity. For instance, minor corrections like 'Tashkent last week' should be separated with a comma: 'Tashkent, last week.'
coherence cohesion
While your letter is well-organized, adding a brief introductory sentence stating the purpose of your letter right after the greeting can provide immediate context to the reader.
task achievement
The letter effectively conveys the main issue, the steps you've taken to troubleshoot, and what actions you expect in response. This demonstrates clear task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured and divided into clear paragraphs, which helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Effective use of formal tone, which is appropriate for a letter to customer service.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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