IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consifer that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. discuss both disdes and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue #consifer #disdes
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but other
people
Use synonyms
 have different think that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. In
this
Linking Words
 essay will talk about the problem
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 happening and give
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
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 opinion.
first,
Linking Words
about activities like the
government
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 collecting money from many
people
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, some tourist attractions in the country will
increase
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 the
cost
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 of souvenirs and any food have a higher
cost
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 than other places. When the
government
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 makes
people
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 feel fair play and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they will think it is breaking the
law
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 to have
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 money or if they do not do that, they will not to go their hometown because it will become earn money for the
government
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.
second,
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some
people
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 have their hometown as an attraction,
for example
Linking Words
, in Vietnam Ninh Binh's attraction is Ho Chi Minh’s attraction their many souvenirs do not have a higher
cost
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 because
people
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 there respect a hero like Ho Chi Minh so they do not
increase
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 the
cost
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 for items. When
people
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 do in there. If do that,
people
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 do not feel do not fair play, they will not break the
law
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 opinion, that think in tourist attractions do not
increase
Use synonyms
 the
cost
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 items,
people
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 when visit are not disappointed with them the culture will not be ruined and the
government
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 will control it easily. In the country do not have
people
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 break the
law
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 it is very good for all
people
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. In conclusion, I think the best way is not to
increase
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 the
cost
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 of items in attractions and they will not break the
law
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 and the country will be peaceful.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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