IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Culture
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important mental
values
Use synonyms
 of each country all over the world,
therefore
Linking Words
, how to protect it is the question that needs to be answered on its own.
While
Linking Words
 many people believe that
culture
Use synonyms
 will be deteriorated by the commercial activities of the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry, I personally think that
tourism
Use synonyms
 makes significant contributions to preserving it. On the one hand, a number of people are concerned that cultural
values
Use synonyms
 will be eroded if they are used to make money. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that exhibits seem to be ruined more easily by human impacts.
For example
Linking Words
, 100-year-old statues displayed in a museum may be touched and physically affected by a number of visitor flocks, which could make them destroyed gradually.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
tourism
Use synonyms
 companies, today, pay more attention to building luxury and new buildings
such
Linking Words
 as a range of modern resorts and sparkling hotel systems in order to attract more visitors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
tourism
Use synonyms
 sector is a great tool that the government can rely on to prevent their cultural
values
Use synonyms
 from deteriorating.
Firstly
Linking Words
, enterprises in the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry have enough necessary resources and abilities to maintain the original condition of heritage. It is obvious that national heritages need to be conserved properly by professionals.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in advertising the cultural
values
Use synonyms
 of a country to not only local people but
also
Linking Words
 overseas ones. In my opinion, we should have enough responsibilities with social life protecting them, encouraging everyone to protect some
values
Use synonyms
 in my country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and keep them for a long time. It is a major source of income. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 several individuals think that
tourism
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for the erosion of the
culture
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: