IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
Culture
culture
 is one of the most important mental
values
 of each country all over the world,
therefore
, how to protect it is the question that needs to be answered on its own.
While
 many people believe that
culture
 will be deteriorated by the commercial activities of the
tourism
 industry, I personally think that
tourism
 makes significant contributions to preserving it. On the one hand, a number of people are concerned that cultural
values
 will be eroded if they are used to make money. The reason for
this
 is that exhibits seem to be ruined more easily by human impacts.
For example
, 100-year-old statues displayed in a museum may be touched and physically affected by a number of visitor flocks, which could make them destroyed gradually.
Furthermore
, many
tourism
 companies, today, pay more attention to building luxury and new buildings
such
 as a range of modern resorts and sparkling hotel systems in order to attract more visitors.
On the other hand
, the
tourism
 sector is a great tool that the government can rely on to prevent their cultural
values
 from deteriorating.
Firstly
, enterprises in the
tourism
 industry have enough necessary resources and abilities to maintain the original condition of heritage. It is obvious that national heritages need to be conserved properly by professionals.
Secondly
,
tourism
 plays a vital role in advertising the cultural
values
 of a country to not only local people but
also
 overseas ones. In my opinion, we should have enough responsibilities with social life protecting them, encouraging everyone to protect some
values
 in my country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and keep them for a long time. It is a major source of income. In conclusion,
although
 several individuals think that
tourism
 should be responsible for the erosion of the
culture
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: