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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
The current issue of preserving national identity is an issue that all countries are trying to solve .
Although
 there are many opinions that
culture
 will be destroyed
due to
 commercial activities, I personally agree with the other view that tourism has great contributions to preserving
culture
 and popularizing it and making it out all over the world On one hand, many individuals believe that using
culture
 with the goal of making a profit will cause it to degrade. The most common reason is that ancient treasures are easily collected by tourists. It is possible to find treasures from dynasties in Vietnam today that are quite weak and easily attracted by children or unconscious adults.
Furthermore
, there are modern forms of business that attract young people. than ancient architectural works. The most obvious example is that young people prefer tall buildings to visiting historical sites.
On the other hand
, there are still many opinions that the commercialization of
culture
 will help it become more popular and gain more attention.
First,
historical tourist sites will be widely promoted to everyone and will
then
 bring in revenue to maintain their original condition. Even though the Independence Palace was built a long time ago, it still retains its original beauty thanks to the revenue from selling entrance tickets to tourists.
Next,
selling and wearing traditional costumes is an action that greatly affects the
culture
 of a person. Korea, Japan, China, and Vietnam all have traditional costumes that are known to the world thanks to their commercialization and have succeeded in preserving them. In conclusion,
although
 there are many conflicting opinions about using
culture
 for
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
. I completely agree with developing a
culture
 that supports business.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the main points and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay. Additionally, use topic sentences to guide the reader through the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Address both sides of the argument more thoroughly and provide specific examples to support each point. Ensure that the essay fully responds to the prompt by exploring the complexities of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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