IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

soem people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are differing views regarding the distribution of
information
Use synonyms
 in the scientific field, world of business and academics. A group opine
ideas
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 should be freely shared whilst
others
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 think
this
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 should not always be the case.
This
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 essay seeks to look at both opinions. I will give my opinion in the course of my writing.
To begin
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 with, in the field of research, it is said that people become more knowledgeable when they share
information
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.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
show examples
others
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 may raise questions that will
further
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 challenge the researchers to learn more and come up with even brilliant
ideas
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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this
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 can be extrapolated to include what happens in the business and academic world alike. All three fields have a common denominator which is they involve dealing with people. And, without letting out your
ideas
Use synonyms
, it won't be appreciated as people are only previewed to the
information
Use synonyms
 they receive. I can
therefore
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 understand why proponents are for sharing
information
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 pertaining to all of these areas as in the end, it is for the benefit of humans.
However
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, I still think some
information
Use synonyms
 should remain sacred.
On the other hand
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, the desire to be special is a thing every human being would like to be. There are numerous stories of how one researcher stole another's idea through communication and was fast enough to publish the idea so bears the name
instead
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 of the original inventor.
Also
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, businesses thrive on uniqueness and are fundamentally run to generate profit. There is competition in the field of business.
Hence
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, when the authorities of one firm let out their
ideas
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 to
others
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, they may lose their specificity and their customers to
others
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.
Consequently
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 resulting in money loss. For the aforementioned reasons, I agree that some
information
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 is valuable and should not be shared freely.
To sum up
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, I agree that some
ideas
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 are better kept to those who know and in the quest to share, they should be done judiciously.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more comprehensive and to the point. The logical structure of the essay is understandable, although some points could be further developed to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the prompt and offers clear and comprehensive ideas. However, providing more relevant and specific examples would further strengthen the task achievement.
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