Some people say now that we can see films on our phones or tablet there is no need to go to the cinemas, others say to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few person choose to watch movies on their gadgets. Undoubtedly, there are particular people who enjoy seeing films in
movie
theatres.
This
essay will discuss both these views, and I will draw my personal opinion about enjoying the
film
. In our era, the improvement of technology has changed everything, including our daily activities.
Moreover
,
this
technology brings innovation to view anything through the internet via our gadgets. The young generation prefers to watch a
film
through their technology because it is more practice and can be watched anytime and anywhere.
Hence
of that, there are many
movie
platforms in current condition. We can get any kind of
movie
through online platforms like Disney+, Netflix, and many more.
On the contrary
, there are some people who still enjoy the cinema because they will get more ambience of the
movie
.
In addition
, seeing a
film
in the
movie
theatre makes us more focused on watching it than on gadgets. We will get any distractions if we see the
movie
through our handphones. The activity of watching movies in the cinema can be enjoyed
together with
our friends, our family and anyone. In conclusion, from my point of view, I prefer to watch a
movie
at the cinema because I can get the feel of being in that
film
. I still see the
film
through my gadget sometimes because it is easy to use and I can repeat all of the films at any time and anywhere. In general, seeing films is a relaxing activity in our daily routine, and we can choose many platforms to enjoy it, I believe everyone will enjoy
this
entertainment.
Submitted by madekevinbratawisnu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, there's room for improvement in providing a balanced argument for both points of view.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but there are issues with coherence and cohesion. The ideas are not always linked cohesively, and the introduction and conclusion can be more substantial.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: