IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.

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Residing in metropolitan
cities
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 has been stimulating some crucial
issues
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 in daily activities. Congestion and
air
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 pollution are problems related to living in big
cities
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.
Thus
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, these
issues
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 have to be tackled by governments through plausible actions
such
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 as enhancing numerous public
transportation
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 and controlling the price of basic needs
instead
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 of encouraging societies to relocate to smaller regional towns. Societies face many
issues
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 in metropolitan
cities
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 as traffic jams and
quality
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 of
air
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 pollution. In big
cities
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, some roads are dominated by private
cars
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,
then
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 the number of people using these private
cars
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 is higher than in other
cities
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.
As a result
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, there is a phenomenon like congestion in the road that can occur with long duration. Mostly, people who are workers have to go office and back home regularly using private
cars
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.
This
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 situation has a bad impact on utilizing time because they spend more time just on the road and have a chance of becoming late to go office. Another problem that has influenced widely on people is reducing
air
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quality
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. When individuals live in larger
cities
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 is a risk to the respiratory system, an individual usually takes breath frequently which contains more emissions produced by private
cars
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.
Thus
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, individuals are able to get some diseases
such
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 as asthma. What authorities should do is to deliver better public
transportation
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. These facilities have to consider integration on reaching some ways, an efficiency of time and cost of
transportation
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. If the government ponders
this
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 solution, individuals will use
this
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 type of
transportation
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.
For instance
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, after the government applied an integration of public
transportation
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 in Bandung, societies directly used public
transportation
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.
Therefore
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, the number of private
cars
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 has dropped.
To sum up
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, congestion and
quality
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 of
air
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quality
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 are common
issues
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 in metropolitan
cities
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. Considering to encourage relocation to smaller
cities
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 is not the best solution, but governments can tackle some problems regarding living in metropolitan
cities
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 through improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
public
transportation
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.

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supported main points
The main points should be more deeply analyzed to provide a stronger argument. For example, delve deeper into the long-term effects of air pollution or provide specific statistics about traffic congestion.
logical structure
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This can help maintain the flow and coherence of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Avoid repetitiveness. For instance, both congestion and air pollution are mentioned multiple times, and the explanation can be more succinct.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument well.
complete response
The response covers both parts of the task: identifying problems in big cities and discussing government measures. This ensures a complete response.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples such as the public transportation in Bandung, which gives credibility to the points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • traffic jams
  • lengthy commutes
  • high cost of living
  • financial strain
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • green space
  • recreational areas
  • social isolation
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • public services strain
  • overpopulation
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