Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison.

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison

Research has shown that educational level is a key determiner of potential criminal behaviour, leading many to suggest reorienting prisons to focus on helping inmates earn degrees. In my opinion,

this

approach would be ineffective relative to other measures. Reformers point to the bulk of studies supporting

this

practice. The

last

50 years have witnessed a growth in prison programs funded by federal governments and private activists aiding prisoners earning either a high school or university

degree

. Tracking those who are released with a

degree

compared to those without has shown a marked decrease in offenders among the former group. The reasons for

this

are self-evidently related to the better jobs available for individuals with diplomas.

This

tangible effect is heartening as prisons should ideally serve to rehabilitate convicts for civilian life and not simply punish them for past transgressions

while

limiting their future career options to more criminal activity.

However

, the efficacy of prison

education

is limited compared to improved

education

for underprivileged segments of society. The research on

education

while

incarcerated is dwarfed by studies on the primacy of

education

before the onset of criminal activity. A good example of

this

would be the persistently high crime rates among inner-city youth who do not have access to good public schools. Those who fail to graduate from high school have drastically higher rates of later criminality ranging from burglary to robbery to violent crimes. If a student is supported in their studies, they have no need to turn to crime later in life to make ends meet. Once a convicted felon, even for the rare individuals who earn a

degree

, it is difficult to find good work later. In conclusion, the unequivocal benefits of prison

education

reform do not justify its priority over more impactful educational measures. There should be a

degree

of balance but the most efficient solution should invariably receive the most resources.

Submitted by @ur_davrik on Thu Sep 28 2023

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content

The essay is well-structured and logically sound, but it can benefit from additional examples to illustrate the concepts discussed, particularly in the argument that providing better education to underprivileged segments of society would be more beneficial than prison education.

stylistic

Try to work on language diversity to make your argument even more powerful, it may impress the reader, and raise the score. For example, 'This tangible effect is heartening as prisons should ideally serve to rehabilitate convicts for civilian life and not simply punitive them for past transgressions while limiting their future career options to more illegal activity.' could be rewritten as 'This promising outcome underpins the belief that the primary role of prisons should be to rehabilitate inmates for reintegration into civil society, rather than solely punishing them for past indiscretions and potentially pitting them towards further law breaking in search for opportunities.'

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: Many children and students are taught to push themselves to be better than others rather than work together for everyones’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting a university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.