Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's world, crime rates are tremendously rising which includes violating the
traffic
rules
. There are several individuals who believe that there will be a reduction in traffic
accidents
by imposing strict rules
. While
remaining folks prefer other ways to improve safety
on the roads. In this
essay, a discussion along with
examples regarding the aforementioned statements will be elaborated.
To begin
with, the first and foremost view is to minimize brutal activities like accidents
by stating strict laws. If individuals are aware of the demerits of violating the traffic
rules
then
everyone
will follow rules
and regulations accurately. To elaborate, in Canada, there are strict punishments related to traffic
offences like demerit points on the insurance and after 3 adverse ,accidents
the police will deactivate the driver's license for 6 months. However
, despite the hectic schedules, everyone
follows the traffic
rules
to remain safe from above mentioned statement.
On the other hand
, there are numerous people who prefer improvement in road safety
to avoid any accidents
. Although
there are several safety
precautions on the roads, the government can bring more safety
procedures for the native community. For instance
, according to
this
year's traffic
survey, it was found that 80% of accidents
in Surrey, Canada were related to cyclists. Therefore
, there should be separate paths for cyclists and pedestrians to avoid brutal incidents.
To conclude
, both aforementioned arguments play an inherent role in everyone
's life. In my opinion, despite the strict rules
, several individuals commit traffic
offences which become the reason for someone's death. Therefore
, high authorities should take some measures to protect everyone
's life by improving safety
precautions on the roads.Submitted by shivaniphg123 on
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Language
Avoid using the term 'folks' in an academic context; instead use 'individuals' or 'people'.
Coherence
The phrase 'brutal activities like accidents' is somewhat awkward. Try to express this idea in a clearer way, such as 'severe consequences like automotive accidents'.
Grammar
Punctuation errors in the sentence 'after 3 adverse ,accidents the police will deactivate the driver's license for 6 months' weaken the readability of your essay. Please review and correct.
Coherence
The essay could benefit from better transition words between different points and arguments to improve the flow and coherence of the text.
Coherence
Instead of '80% of accidents in Surrey, Canada were related to cyclists', consider rephrasing to '80% of road accidents in Surrey, Canada involved cyclists' for better clarity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?