Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #offenses #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety

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In today's world, crime rates are tremendously rising which includes violating the

traffic

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rules

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. There are several individuals who believe that there will be a reduction in

traffic

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accidents

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by imposing strict

rules

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While

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remaining folks prefer other ways to improve

safety

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on the roads. In

this

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essay, a discussion

along with

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examples regarding the aforementioned statements will be elaborated.

To begin

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with, the first and foremost view is to minimize brutal activities like

accidents

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by stating strict laws. If individuals are aware of the demerits of violating the

traffic

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rules

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then

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everyone

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will follow

rules

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and regulations accurately. To elaborate, in Canada, there are strict punishments related to

traffic

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offences like demerit points on the insurance and after 3 adverse ,

accidents

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the police will deactivate the driver's license for 6 months.

However

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, despite the hectic schedules,

everyone

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follows the

traffic

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rules

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to remain safe from above mentioned statement.

On the other hand

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, there are numerous people who prefer improvement in road

safety

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to avoid any

accidents

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Although

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there are several

safety

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precautions on the roads, the government can bring more

safety

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procedures for the native community.

For instance

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according to

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this

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year's

traffic

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survey, it was found that 80% of

accidents

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in Surrey, Canada were related to cyclists.

Therefore

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, there should be separate paths for cyclists and pedestrians to avoid brutal incidents.

To conclude

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, both aforementioned arguments play an inherent role in

everyone

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's life. In my opinion, despite the strict

rules

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, several individuals commit

traffic

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offences which become the reason for someone's death.

Therefore

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, high authorities should take some measures to protect

everyone

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's life by improving

safety

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precautions on the roads.

Submitted by shivaniphg123 on Thu Sep 28 2023

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Language

Avoid using the term 'folks' in an academic context; instead use 'individuals' or 'people'.

Coherence

The phrase 'brutal activities like accidents' is somewhat awkward. Try to express this idea in a clearer way, such as 'severe consequences like automotive accidents'.

Grammar

Punctuation errors in the sentence 'after 3 adverse ,accidents the police will deactivate the driver's license for 6 months' weaken the readability of your essay. Please review and correct.

Coherence

The essay could benefit from better transition words between different points and arguments to improve the flow and coherence of the text.

Coherence

Instead of '80% of accidents in Surrey, Canada were related to cyclists', consider rephrasing to '80% of road accidents in Surrey, Canada involved cyclists' for better clarity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

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Q. Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that?