Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The debate over whether
team
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or individual
sports
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better prepare children for their future prospects is ongoing.
While
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some argue that
team
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sports
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provide essential skills, including conversation and teamwork, I believe that individual activities offer more significant benefits. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I consider individual
excercises
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exercises
to be the superior choice for children's achievement.
To begin
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, there are many advantages to selecting
team
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sports
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.
Firstly
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,
team
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sports
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help offspring achieve essential skills needed in the near future,
such
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as communication, presentation, and teamwork.
In particular
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, teamwork participants are required to contribute their abilities to the common success. Members must have communication techniques to present their ideas and logical thinking to support or argue against other members' initiatives. They must persuade other attendees with their critical arguments and generate faith in their
team
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about the success rate of their decisions. After making the final decision, people cooperate with a common purpose for the accomplishment of the match rather than personal achievement.
Secondly
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,
although
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personal records are important, recognition from teammates or colleagues is one of the primary satisfactions for participants.
Lastly
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,
team
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sports
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foster a sense of belonging, which makes people responsible individuals and teaches them about the power of a united organization to overcome many difficult challenges.
For instance
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, the Vietnamese have attempted to deal with a specific infectious pandemic by joining hands to support the poor and disabled.
Conversely
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, opponents insist that individual
excercise
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exercise
are
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is
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an elite decision because these exercises build a self-discipline spirit, which motivates children to move forward to achieve their target records.
This
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responsibility generates more pressure that helps them become a better version of themselves, resulting in pride in their achievements regardless of their ranking as they tried their best.
In addition
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, personal competition requires independence and self-control to handle stress and external distractions.
This
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trains a determined individual, allowing them to persist with their goal and overcome challenges on their route to success. Adapting to stress resilience and focusing more on their aim could lead to a greater outcome. In conclusion,
while
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team
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sports
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offer valuable opportunities for developing communication techniques and fostering a sense of community, individual activities provide crucial advantages in building self-discipline and independence. From my perspective, individual activities are the better choice for preparing offspring for their future work lives. The responsible spirit and personal resilience developed through individual
sports
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are invaluable assets that can lead to greater accomplishment.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task well, there are areas where the clarity of ideas can be improved. Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and avoid repetitive phrases.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, aim for more seamless transitions between your points. Reducing minor grammatical and lexical errors will also enhance the readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
logical structure
The essay logically structured with distinct paragraphs that cover different aspects of the topic.
relevant specific examples
The arguments are supported with relevant and specific examples, especially when discussing team sports.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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