Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been an increasing number of spending taxes on modern and historical
arts
Use synonyms
by the
government
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others disagree and feel that the use of taxes should be prioritised for the unfortunate
people
Use synonyms
who suffer from difficulties. I am partially in favour of
this
Linking Words
statement. On the one hand, it is noticeable that
arts
Use synonyms
are an essential part of our life, and have beneficial effects for a wide variety of
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in educational
arts
Use synonyms
, children and young
people
Use synonyms
can express and experience their emotions, feelings, and thoughts freely through a blank canvas
instead
Linking Words
of in words. These school curriculums,
therefore
Linking Words
, foster students to develop imagination and creativity.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is not only for the young
people
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
the
arts
Use synonyms
help the old and disabled to improve their intellectual skills and protect against diseases. If those
people
Use synonyms
participate in music and dance activities, which include physical and mental movement, prevent
further
Linking Words
adverse incidents, namely dementia and other cognitive disorders.
Also
Linking Words
, especially
people
Use synonyms
who are autistic, express their thoughts incredibly clearly in
arts
Use synonyms
without speaking or any verbal interactions.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is considerably worthwhile flourishing the field of
arts
Use synonyms
with
government
Use synonyms
subsidies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a large number of
people
Use synonyms
need support from the
government
Use synonyms
for daily necessities.
For example
Linking Words
, in recent years, inflation and recession have significantly impacted the public, and it has been getting considerably difficult to purchase just basic groceries, and clothes and pay rent.
Consequently
Linking Words
, needless to say, the
government
Use synonyms
should prioritize taking a measure for those
people
Use synonyms
rather than spending taxes on unurgent matters
such
Linking Words
as the
arts
Use synonyms
without considering priorities. In conclusion, being satisfied with artistic education, cultures, and traditions is a vital part of one’s life,
however
Linking Words
, in my opinion, to meet public needs, the
government
Use synonyms
should contemplate the primary issues from different directions rather than only focus on improving the
arts
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by slowloris4444 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentence Structure
Try to make your points more clear and concise. Some sentences are too complex and could be simplified. For instance, 'If those people participate in music and dance activities, which include physical and mental movement, prevent further adverse incidents, namely dementia and other cognitive disorders.' could be rephrased to 'Participation in musical and dancing activities can help protect individuals, especially the elderly and disabled, against diseases like dementia and other cognitive disorders.'
Use of Linking Words
Add linking phrases such as 'Therefore', 'Subsequently' or 'Resulting in' to introduce your results and improve the logical flow of your sentences.
Word Choice
The expression 'unurgent matters' sounds informal. Look for a more formal alternative such as 'non-urgent issues' or 'areas that are not of immediate concern'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: