IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that we should keep all the money we earn and not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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We all know that the money we earn has been partly paid to the country as tax, and
this
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 fact has aroused an argument that the income we make should be totally kept in our own hands
instead
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 of the nation. Considering the living standards and the education, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea.
Firstly
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, the fact that a decrease will occur in the quality of our living standards indicates that citizens should pay
taxes
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 to the country they live in. To be more specific, the financial budgets that the government distributes to build basic infrastructures,
such
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 as electricity, water stations and so on, are all from the
taxes
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 we pay.
Therefore
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, once no one pays
taxes
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 to the nation, the basic infrastructure will be outdated soon, leading to difficulties in our lives and a reduction in the quality of our living standards.
As a result
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, paying
taxes
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 is not only for the country but
also
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 for ourselves.
Secondly
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,
such
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 a style of keeping the earnings in our own hands will lead to conflicts in education between the rich and the normal or the poor.
In other words
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, without tax, the public schools will disappear soon, and excellent educational resources, like teachers and equipment, are more likely to be captured by people who have more economic strength, causing normal people to have not enough teachers and other resources that are necessary for education. In comparison, paying
taxes
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 to the state is beneficial to solving these issues in order to ease the disharmony of society. In conclusion,
although
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 paying
taxes
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 looks like no profits for ourselves in daily life, it impacts every corner.
Besides
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, a bright future can only be formed by paying more
taxes
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas. While the essay has logical structure, transitions could be smoother to guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Continue to maintain a clear position throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but strive to develop arguments more fully for a higher band score.
task achievement
Give a complete response to the prompt by addressing the question directly and ensuring that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on your points with more detailed explanations and variety in arguments.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to underpin your arguments and to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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