IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

HOUSEHOLDS OWNING AND RENTING ACCOMMODATION IN ENGLAND AND WALES 1918 TO 2011

#households #accommodation #england #wales
This
 bar chart demonstrated the proportion
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 households owning and renting accommodations in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. From the chart we can tell, before 1971, households in rented accommodation
has been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accounted for, at least, 50%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all accommodations. During the first period of the record, rented accommodations even
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak at just below 80%.
However
, it started gradually
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
when
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 time
passes
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is imperative to know that the percentage cross over at 1971,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the owned accommodation
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
finally
passes
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 rented accommodation at 50%, where we cannot actually tell people’s hosting
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Then
, it began slowly
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for more percentage as a decade went by, and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 its peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2001 within two decades just below 70%. In conclusion, people in England and Wales
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to buy their own houses when
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 became
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stable and started to
boomed
Change the form of the verb
boom
show examples
 in
1970s
Change the article
the 1970s
show examples
,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they were looking forward to a bright future.
Submitted by j05156077 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: