IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

HOUSEHOLDS OWNING AND RENTING ACCOMMODATION IN ENGLAND AND WALES 1918 TO 2011

#households #accommodation #england #wales
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart demonstrated the proportion
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 households owning and renting accommodations in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. From the chart we can tell, before 1971, households in rented accommodation
has been
Verb problem
apply
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accounted for, at least, 50%
in
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of
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 all accommodations. During the first period of the record, rented accommodations even
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 peak at just below 80%.
However
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, it started gradually
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
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when
Correct word choice
as
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 time
passes
Wrong verb form
passed
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is imperative to know that the percentage cross over at 1971,
which
Correct word choice
when
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 the owned accommodation
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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finally
Linking Words
passes
Wrong verb form
passed
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 rented accommodation at 50%, where we cannot actually tell people’s hosting
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Then
Linking Words
, it began slowly
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for more percentage as a decade went by, and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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 its peak
at
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in
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 2001 within two decades just below 70%. In conclusion, people in England and Wales
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
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 to buy their own houses when
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 became
for
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apply
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stable and started to
boomed
Change the form of the verb
boom
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 in
1970s
Change the article
the 1970s
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,
which
Correct word choice
when
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 they were looking forward to a bright future.
Submitted by j05156077 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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