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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart above shows the number of homes built between 2000 and 2009 in two cities, Derby and Nottingham.

The chart above shows the number of homes built between 2000 and 2009 in two cities, Derby and Nottingham.
The bar graph indicates how house numbers constructed over a 10-year period, starting from 2000 changed in two different cities.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the
number
Use synonyms
 of homes gradually increased in
Derby
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the city named Nottingham witnessed fluctuating results over the following years. Looking at the data sets in
Derby
Use synonyms
 in detail
it is clear that
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 in 2000, nearly 48 buildings were built which remained the same up to 2001.
However
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, the
number
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 of homes slightly went up from 80 in 2002 to 120 in 2003 and
this
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number
Use synonyms
 stayed constant until 2007.
Furthermore
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, amount of residential buildings in 2008 was about 270 compared to higher than the time between 2000 and 2007.
Finally
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,
Derby
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 experienced the maximum result in 2009 accounting for approximately 340. Turning to the information sets in Nottingham in more detail it is evident that home numbers stood at around 50 in 2000 and slowly rose to 55 in 2001.
In contrast
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, residential building numbers suddenly fell around 20 in 2002, but these amounts
consequently
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 climbed up to 2005. Again the
number
Use synonyms
 of apartments underwent fluctuating evidence from 2006 to 2008.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Nottingham finished at 250 homes in 2009 which was comparatively less than
Derby
Use synonyms
 City.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, derby with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "sets" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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