Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

While

Linking Words

some maintain that in recent years, the authority has incurred substantial expenses on travelling to outer

space

Use synonyms

, others reject

this

Linking Words

notion, believing that it is essential for the development of humanity. To my mind, both sides have their valid points. There are good grounds why people think that the government spends an abundance of money on taking journeys into

space

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of other

Punctuation problem

, more

show examples

effective categories. The main argument is that each launch of

spacecraft

Correct article usage

a spacecraft

show examples

not only consumes a considerable

number

Check wording

amount

show examples

of funds but

also

Linking Words

wastes human

resources

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the materials

Change preposition

for

show examples

rockets are extremely valuable.

Thus

Linking Words

, there is an enormous expenditure for the administration to craft spaceships.

In addition

Linking Words

, travelling to

space

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

negatively influences the environment, contributing to pollution and global warming.

For instance

Linking Words

, when a

space

Use synonyms

shuttle is launched into the universe, it will emit vast amounts of carbon dioxide into the air.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, sometimes, if the launch of a spacecraft fails, it will explode and release a significant amount of carbon. Alternatively, it is understandable why others have a different opinion. One justification behind

this

Linking Words

can be that

space

Use synonyms

travel enables people to explore new planets.

As a result

Linking Words

humans

Use synonyms

can discover more new ores and

also

Linking Words

deal with the problem of

lacking

Wrong verb form

a lack of

show examples

resources

Use synonyms

Due to

Linking Words

the significant development of the

world

Use synonyms

, there are many demands for

resources

Use synonyms

in industries or technological careers.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the number of

resources

Use synonyms

in the

world

Use synonyms

has exhibited an enormous decrease in recent years. Some studies from universities have predicted that the

world

Use synonyms

will run out of petroleum, which is the most crucial

thing

Check wording

resource

show examples

for machines to run, in 2050. From my perspective,

space

Use synonyms

travel plays a vital role in the development of

humans

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

it assists

humans

Use synonyms

in seeking land suitable for people's resettlement of the planet. Nowadays, the

world

Use synonyms

has faced a shortage of accommodation for its residents.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there are lots of methods where scientists try to find out some areas outside the Earth that

humans

Use synonyms

can live in. In all of them,

utilizing

Change the spelling

utilising

show examples

satellites for

this

Linking Words

purpose indicates effectiveness and is useful for discoveries.

This

Linking Words

is because

this

Linking Words

method enables researchers to explore and

analyze

Change the spelling

analyse

show examples

the environment in various fields conveniently. To draw a conclusion, I affirm that both sides are in the right.

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Sep 30, 2023

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structure

Make a plan before you write. Have one clear idea in the start, then give 2-3 main points with small links.

coherence

Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a line that links to the next idea.

content

Add more small facts or clear examples to back up points. Do not only say 'important' or 'good' without proof.

language

Work on grammar. Use simple, correct words. Some sentences are long and hard to read.

content

The writer gives a view and shows both sides.

structure

There is a clear conclusion that agrees with the intro.

coherence

There are linking words to connect ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

380 words

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