IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

POPULATION: The number of people who decide not to have children has increased greatly Do you think this is a positive or negative development

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In today's rapidly evolving world, population become a topic of discussion among the people. Over the
last
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 few years, you can see a gradual surge in the graph of couples, who don't want to become parents.
This
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 is a situational topic, the effects of less population depend on the
country
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 and their
a
Correct article usage
apply
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sum of the living beings in that province, In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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development
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, with a brief conclusion.
Firstly
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, I will explain the reason why
this
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 situation is beneficial for some countries. Few nations in
this
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 world are facing overpopulation issues, which is causing different demerits for other pupils.
For instance
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, India is the most populated
country
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 and because of
this
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, they are suffering from a lack of renewable resources, unemployment, poverty, and pollution.
According to
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 a podcast by David Bellar, 56% of greenhouse gases have been emitted from India and China, which is the reason behind bad air quality.
On the other hand
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, Many nations are suffering from fewer pupils as well. That's why, they are facing economic and
development
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 crises, because
development
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 is directly proportional to the number of people, living in a nation. Even though,
due to
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 underpopulation, some of them are already at the door of extinction.
For example
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,
According to
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 an Immigration service in Ireland, the graph of the living national is going down and that's why, they started giving residency to everyone with financial support as well if they will stay in the
country
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, so they can save them a
country
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 map in the world's map. In conclusion, balancing pros and cons, it becomes apparent that it depends on the situation and
development
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 nationwide.

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is provided in the introduction to establish your viewpoint on the development of people deciding not to have children.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and data for a stronger argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay; use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.
Task Achievement
Provide a balanced argument by discussing both sides, but also ensure to give a clear opinion as required by the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Keep the conclusion concise and make sure it summarises your main points and reiterates your opinion on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shifts
  • fertility rates
  • sustainable development
  • economic forecasts
  • social security systems
  • work-life balance
  • resource allocation
  • ecological footprint
  • intentional childlessness
  • individualism
  • multigenerational households
  • cultural transmission
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